5.2.15 Looking up: loving someone with cancer.

          So often, what seems untenable will actually be revealed, in retrospect, as a no-big-deal sprint. Only we haven't learned yet. Been there. Had that experience, so the tiny sprint seems enormous. But the big surprise is that the marathon follows. 
          We look up and around, and begin to notice so many in the long distance run, making their sometimes extraordinary efforts, if they can. Doing all they can, if they are able.
          Looking up, the scale of it all changes in one rapid breath. You begin to get the perspective of things, the big picture of other's lives and hard work. Being with what is, day after day after day, with distress and feeling burdened, and then the consequent ease and gratitude.
         Cool out, you tell yourself. Take it slow. You are in good company. Certainly not the first one.
         Eyes on the next step only, and the next,
with that massive bird's eye view, now and again,
to keep you in the loop of the long distance
and then, the bright moment of this new day.

5.2.15 You have taken my two hands, with a prayer.

5.2.15 As the bursting shoots of new leaves fill the forest and riverside with bright and vibrant green

5.1.15 Veering not too far from here

Last night, back from Boston, all of us let out and walked and fed and pet and settled in, time seemed to expand and fill, as we sat and the earth turned and the day slowly came to a close.

Off I went to pick up some dinner fish and meat, some green beans and shallots and yams, then pulled by the Connecticut, just to stop in and say hello. 
It was a golden evening everywhere, it seemed, golden shafts of light filtering down between thick languorous clouds. Red Tail Hawks dancing and chasing and twirling in the windy evening far above. The Mallards gone from the seasonal field ponds that are gone, dried up, as we make our way into May. 

Insects proliferating, bees visiting the beautiful Pansies brought over by a dear one, and blossoming for all they can. 

As time seems so pliant, so indeterminate, while we sit after a delicious meal, holding hands, laughing at this and that, taking turns on the BIomat (oh great purveyor of  health ) . 

Mulling over the day; veering not too far from now.

5.1.15 The Maples have cast their bright red florets out across the ground

 

The Maples have cast their bright red florets out across the ground

as the sun shines bright and warmer each day, 

luring the tiny tender leaves out of buds that held them, all winter long. 

Green green the grasses and fields and forests now grow.

5.1.15 It was a golden evening everywhere

 Last night, back from Boston, all of us let out and walked and fed and pet and settled in, time seemed to expand and fill, as we sat and the earth turned and the day slowly came to a close.
                     


                       Off I went to pick up some dinner fish and meat, some green beans and shallots and yams, then pulled by the Connecticut, just to stop in and say hello.

                        It was a golden evening everywhere, it seemed, golden shafts of light filtering down between thick languorous clouds. Red Tail Hawks dancing and chasing and twirling in the windy evening far above. The Mallards gone from the seasonal field ponds that are gone, dried up, as we make our way into May.  

                        Insects proliferating, bees visiting the beautiful Pansies brought over by a dear one, and blossoming for all they can.

                        As time seems so pliant, so indeterminate, while we sit after a delicious meal, holding hands, laughing at this and that, taking turns on the Biomat (oh great purveyor of my returning health) . Mulling over the day; veering not too far from now.

4.29.15 And here on earth ? We have this small life of stunning beauty.

In the meantime, the world is doing just fine by itself, thank you, rustling its feathers , stretching and yawning; as the sun burns furiously far above our clouds.

 And here on earth ? We have this small life of stunning beauty.

4.29.15 In retrospect, all together now

We experience something. We respond. Some time later, we encounter it again; yet our response is completely different. In retrospect we realize our response had far more to do with us, than the situation. I re-learn this one , again and again and again

4.28.15 Strength and succor

We have this place called The Cancer Connection. It has bright, colorful rooms, groups for all sorts of circumstance, Acupuncture, Massage and Reiki, Mindfulness classes, Exercise classes, Creativity classes, people who will sit and listen and talk with you, and a peaceful garden to go visit anytime. It is all free, with a huge comfortable living room to be in or be with others in. All the staff have or have had cancer. People raise big money to ensure this is a shining comforting resource for all. Whether you go in to sit with someone and speak your mind and heart, or just slip into the garden in the back, somehow you know of all the others who have been here. Sharing and deriving comfort and strength and succor.

http://www.cancer-connection.org/

4.28.15 Wake. Breathe. Eat. Let difficult stuff come up. It will pass. Be with others. Watch the sunset. Tuck in. Sleep.

Yesterday I went to see a new doctor. She is in her 50's, and we got to talking. She was the head dr of an ER, wrote a grant, got huge money, and did some research studies of alternative medicine and trauma, addictions, including an early cannabis study. We talked about herbs, my experience as an herbalist, politics, and mindfulness. We also did the patient stuff. Her staff finally came to knock on the door,a prompt. She embraced me, and left. 

This was on her wall. I can interpret his "Don't get angry"; got it. That we do have anger, and to be with it with awareness is different than jetting all over the place using it as fuel. 

I loved reading this. It just settles a bunch of things down, simplifying dis-ease or distress, and calms it down into the simplicity that life actually is. 

Wake. Breathe. Eat.Take care of ourselves the best we can. Let difficult stuff come up. Be with it. It will pass. Be with others. Flow. Watch the sunset. Tuck in, sleep.

4.28.15 Our eyes open briefly to the morning light, to our species, circumstances and choices

We each awaken. 

In our bed, or burrow; roots sunk far into earth, or cubs gamboling about, nursing, as we come to. 

Colony about us, buzzing and beginning the day's work. 

Our eyes open briefly to the morning light, to our species,

circumstances and choices, and we rise to greet the day.