We have emotional responses while just going about living our lives.
If we do our best to disavow them....If we avoid giving them a moment of airtime....If we put them in little containers, and wrap them up them or lock them away...,
If they're uncomfortable or devastating , we simply want to pretend they're not there.
It kind of makes sense . Like avoiding touching a hot stove .
Only, a difficult emotional response is akin to a burn we've already gotten- that will feel so much better, incur less damage , and heal faster and more completely- if we soak it a good hour, on and off, in the ice water that can suck the heat out-and then soak it, sopping wet, in aloe gel for 6 or 12 hours.
When we shy away from emotional responses - instead of recognizing and responding to them, like a sudden burn , they simply build up.
They build up and whether they identify themselves as they emerge, or not, emerge they do.
Onto our bodies. Driving our blood pressure. Lowering our immunity. Tightening our necks and fostering pain and headache , migraine and poor brain circulation.
Psychosomatic does not mean you are imagining it. Psychosomatic means your psyche us kicking the butt of your somatics -your body and how it feels and functions.
Our dreams try to inform us. Depression can increase , as well as waking suddenly in the night, without a thought in our minds .
How many clients do I talk with about how silent and WASPY and polite and unyielding anxiety can appear? How many times do clients take GABA ( thoughts that go round and round ) Theanine , or 5htp, and find that their body's 'shock absorbers ' are suddenly making the bumps along the road practically imperceptible -because they are taking things that are increasing the production of brain chemicals that buffer us from stressful chemical responses.
How often do people try out sitting out ( or with this mosquito weather, in) and watching the trees blow in the wind, letting each and every thought come on up- be felt-and allowed to pass on by?
How often do they begin to sleep through the night, fall asleep with more ease? Have more energy , looser shoulders, and a nice blood supply to the brain ( always helpful).
So often we have this odd impulse to BE convenient. To avoid needing anything. To 'put a good face on it'.
Instead, it's really possible to trade, just for one minute. Or five.
"Want to do five minutes?" You say as you stroll with a friend, greet a neighbor or partner at the end if a day.
They go... and talk about their carburetor or tight shoes or pissy co- worker, and you listen. That 's all. You don't try to fix it, or remember it for later.
They may talk about how much pain their shoulder is in. Or how confused they are about their kid. It only works when you simply listen , and listen well. And when they're done, it's your turn.
The only rule besides not going over - is to avoid contentious or triggering topics. So that it's possible for it to work. To continue being a resource for each other .
So often afterwards, you find yourself feeling so differently. Just because you shared how you felt, and someone listened well.
Our emotional health is so similar to the health of our organs and systems . Like a vibrant pond, with a great supply of incoming fresh clean water, and an outgoing flow of waste, the ecosystem thrives.
All that 'finding the silver lining' and 'going with the flow'? That 's what naturally happens, after we give ourselves a chance to sit with anxiety, fear, resentment, anger, feelings of inadequacy, dread or bitterness.
Because after feeling those things , without boxing them up or censoring them, they deflate and pass on by; and once again, our insides are peaceful, even with the challenges of our day to day lives.
If we do our best to disavow them....If we avoid giving them a moment of airtime....If we put them in little containers, and wrap them up them or lock them away...,
If they're uncomfortable or devastating , we simply want to pretend they're not there.
It kind of makes sense . Like avoiding touching a hot stove .
Only, a difficult emotional response is akin to a burn we've already gotten- that will feel so much better, incur less damage , and heal faster and more completely- if we soak it a good hour, on and off, in the ice water that can suck the heat out-and then soak it, sopping wet, in aloe gel for 6 or 12 hours.
When we shy away from emotional responses - instead of recognizing and responding to them, like a sudden burn , they simply build up.
They build up and whether they identify themselves as they emerge, or not, emerge they do.
Onto our bodies. Driving our blood pressure. Lowering our immunity. Tightening our necks and fostering pain and headache , migraine and poor brain circulation.
Psychosomatic does not mean you are imagining it. Psychosomatic means your psyche us kicking the butt of your somatics -your body and how it feels and functions.
Our dreams try to inform us. Depression can increase , as well as waking suddenly in the night, without a thought in our minds .
How many clients do I talk with about how silent and WASPY and polite and unyielding anxiety can appear? How many times do clients take GABA ( thoughts that go round and round ) Theanine , or 5htp, and find that their body's 'shock absorbers ' are suddenly making the bumps along the road practically imperceptible -because they are taking things that are increasing the production of brain chemicals that buffer us from stressful chemical responses.
How often do people try out sitting out ( or with this mosquito weather, in) and watching the trees blow in the wind, letting each and every thought come on up- be felt-and allowed to pass on by?
How often do they begin to sleep through the night, fall asleep with more ease? Have more energy , looser shoulders, and a nice blood supply to the brain ( always helpful).
So often we have this odd impulse to BE convenient. To avoid needing anything. To 'put a good face on it'.
Instead, it's really possible to trade, just for one minute. Or five.
"Want to do five minutes?" You say as you stroll with a friend, greet a neighbor or partner at the end if a day.
They go... and talk about their carburetor or tight shoes or pissy co- worker, and you listen. That 's all. You don't try to fix it, or remember it for later.
They may talk about how much pain their shoulder is in. Or how confused they are about their kid. It only works when you simply listen , and listen well. And when they're done, it's your turn.
The only rule besides not going over - is to avoid contentious or triggering topics. So that it's possible for it to work. To continue being a resource for each other .
So often afterwards, you find yourself feeling so differently. Just because you shared how you felt, and someone listened well.
Our emotional health is so similar to the health of our organs and systems . Like a vibrant pond, with a great supply of incoming fresh clean water, and an outgoing flow of waste, the ecosystem thrives.
All that 'finding the silver lining' and 'going with the flow'? That 's what naturally happens, after we give ourselves a chance to sit with anxiety, fear, resentment, anger, feelings of inadequacy, dread or bitterness.
Because after feeling those things , without boxing them up or censoring them, they deflate and pass on by; and once again, our insides are peaceful, even with the challenges of our day to day lives.
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