One of
my kids saw a friend last year. Who also had had a hard
time; and come on out of it. Also put his parents through those paces.
Now the kid's mom was in the hospital. End stage of cancer. Ready to go. The kid felt so badly.
I told my kid " Speak to your friend. Tell him it's over and done. For him. For his mom. Encourage him to let go of his shame. He's already said sorry so many times , and made good his life . His mom only wants to love him in peace , now. Urge him to give her that ."
So he did. Talk with his friend.
He and I have had those talks . Many many of us do.
We express our regret and sadness. We offer to make amends.
Often in life just expressing our sorrow heals over the difficult wounds.
With my kid, I said he could keep feeling badly, but I had no need of it . It was done and he was good in his life and what more could I ever ask for?
He told his friend it was done. All the youthful mess ups. And now was time to know and love his mom, free and clear. So his friend did.
My kid told me he'd worked with the mom too, and liked her. Went to the hospital, and sat with the dying mom and talked . And laughed. Smiled. With the woman ready to ask for more medicine and die.
He said to me " I really liked her."
I had tears in my eyes. What was there to say?
Except "Honey. You did well."
Now the kid's mom was in the hospital. End stage of cancer. Ready to go. The kid felt so badly.
I told my kid " Speak to your friend. Tell him it's over and done. For him. For his mom. Encourage him to let go of his shame. He's already said sorry so many times , and made good his life . His mom only wants to love him in peace , now. Urge him to give her that ."
So he did. Talk with his friend.
He and I have had those talks . Many many of us do.
We express our regret and sadness. We offer to make amends.
Often in life just expressing our sorrow heals over the difficult wounds.
With my kid, I said he could keep feeling badly, but I had no need of it . It was done and he was good in his life and what more could I ever ask for?
He told his friend it was done. All the youthful mess ups. And now was time to know and love his mom, free and clear. So his friend did.
My kid told me he'd worked with the mom too, and liked her. Went to the hospital, and sat with the dying mom and talked . And laughed. Smiled. With the woman ready to ask for more medicine and die.
He said to me " I really liked her."
I had tears in my eyes. What was there to say?
Except "Honey. You did well."
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