Wednesday, July 15, 2015

7.14.15 In retrospect, I remember not even being able to see

It's so weird how all we really need, to make a mess of things, is to be overtired. We can be communicating with somebody we've known forever, and it still takes about 20 years before we develop any sense of the fact that its ourselves, speaking unclearly. Versus it being all their fault. 
     In our house, when we're overtired, at times it's like we're speaking different languages. That don't even share the same alphabet. 
     Now I see that when I was younger, I was filled with uncertainty. If I was just trying really hard to say something and it wasn't working, I remember feeling like it had to be his fault.
     In retrospect, I remember not even being able to see all those dynamics. Within myself, and of myself.
     I so appreciate growing older and for the hard-won depth of awareness.
For the realization that really, you can just let go. Go cool out. And maybe? Try it again later.


 

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