Like being with someone and no matter your own sometimes dumb sometimes blind sometimes insistent delusions, or theirs, you may both persist and grow more generosity and compassion as the years pass, in amongst the persistent often very painful messes.
Which is normal. Crabby reactive happens.
Or how one of you gets not-well, and the other has to make all the money, and never wanted that role, either of you, at all, but there you are. Right there.
Or how after bunches of years and upsetness you both finally accept that one of you can't go visit friends or have friends over or do a whole lot of anything around the house.
And it's not laziness or not trying hard enough, even when one of you is very upset or stressed about it. It's simply not-well-ness, after trying everything anyone ever thought of.
And you both finally grow these great big muscles and generosity and work hard to not get all alarmed when both of you are quite challenged. And learn to refuse to feel afraid or badly or guilty... and just settle down and problem solve and then take a breath and hold hands and enjoy the beautiful day you are given.
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