It can be so confusing, to
find ourselves in our 60s, often times with grown children. Confusing, because
when we're raising them, it's our responsibility to do our best to support
them, and arrange things.
To facilitate good relationships with friends, with teachers, to help them have nice birthdays, good relations with neighbors, and so much more. It's really our job to see if we can help them learn good navigating skills, be good, honest and respectful people in the world, and then, smooth the way.
As they make their way, as our babies or toddlers or children or adolescents or young adults.
The confusing part comes when they are adults, grown and on their own.
Because it becomes time to grow our own selves up, to stop facilitating or arranging things. And find the courage to face the reality that is our kid today, that is our life today.
Even harder, is realizing that we might be deluding ourselves about who they are, or what they think of us.
To let the pieces fall where they may.
Sometimes, if enough tough things happen in a family , we discover that maybe one kid or another doesn't necessarily think we are all that great. Sometimes, in distress, they look for someone to blame, or better yet, someone to triangulate against.
Sometimes with stressful events, our kid shows their true colors. And then, we are unfathomably shocked.
We stop, and then try to see how we have kept our selves from noticing this.
They show their colors, and now we know.
Most of us, when we are parenting younger children, we know that we are going to be the best parents that ever existed.
In fact, we are going to be such great parents, none of the problems the other people face are going to happen to us or kid.
It's just one of the things that people think, until they grow up enough to realize that a whole bunch of weird shit happens. No matter how the kind honest attentive and caring parent you are.
Parenting, from the beginning to the end is like a great sweep of wind in winter, shaking loose the weaknesses, clarifying the strengths.
And at a certain point, like every other species, when our young are able and off on their own, it is time for us to cultivate our own garden.
To facilitate good relationships with friends, with teachers, to help them have nice birthdays, good relations with neighbors, and so much more. It's really our job to see if we can help them learn good navigating skills, be good, honest and respectful people in the world, and then, smooth the way.
As they make their way, as our babies or toddlers or children or adolescents or young adults.
The confusing part comes when they are adults, grown and on their own.
Because it becomes time to grow our own selves up, to stop facilitating or arranging things. And find the courage to face the reality that is our kid today, that is our life today.
Even harder, is realizing that we might be deluding ourselves about who they are, or what they think of us.
To let the pieces fall where they may.
Sometimes, if enough tough things happen in a family , we discover that maybe one kid or another doesn't necessarily think we are all that great. Sometimes, in distress, they look for someone to blame, or better yet, someone to triangulate against.
Sometimes with stressful events, our kid shows their true colors. And then, we are unfathomably shocked.
We stop, and then try to see how we have kept our selves from noticing this.
They show their colors, and now we know.
Most of us, when we are parenting younger children, we know that we are going to be the best parents that ever existed.
In fact, we are going to be such great parents, none of the problems the other people face are going to happen to us or kid.
It's just one of the things that people think, until they grow up enough to realize that a whole bunch of weird shit happens. No matter how the kind honest attentive and caring parent you are.
Parenting, from the beginning to the end is like a great sweep of wind in winter, shaking loose the weaknesses, clarifying the strengths.
And at a certain point, like every other species, when our young are able and off on their own, it is time for us to cultivate our own garden.
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