12.29.18 Into the Majestic

I, I ,myself , like plans. 

Creating plans.
Illustrating plans.
Planning plans.

So many of us always have been interested in plans, because they’re a pathway . 

Between where we are now, and where we’d like to travel to.

I remember perhaps 20 years ago finally noticing my Plan Denial Syndrome. 

Where I’d come up with a plan and get all excited about the plan and hopeful about the plan 

and then just go around so happy this stuff was finally going to work out 

and finally I’d manage my goals. Oh, it felt so good.

And i suddenly looked back on some of my past planning. And saw how the excitement was not realistic. Because the planning was not realistic. Some of the time it worked and lots of times it didn’t and I’d grown into a person who then compromised by getting excited in make believe.

So I began investigating how and why goals and planning failed.
And learned that, in some ways, we have to do the underlying work, including the emotional work. 

To create the honest to goodness real infrastructure upon which planning and plans rest. 

And are supported. And can persist from.

Ugh.
Real life.

So I went about continuing to do the emotional work, and slowly, a number of things happened.

I began to see more and more the stories I’d gotten used to telling myself, and even my family, to ‘put a good face on’ situations and people , who actually were not good.

To do the stiff upper lip ,when ,often enough, honestly facing the unpleasant and untenable reality was indicated instead.

And, by the way, whether it’s our economy or our childbirth or our family finances or our unsubstantiated trust in others or our fitness, we can make believe all we want. 

But actuality will show up and be what is operational.

And beneath our conscious awareness, we are always cognizant of the real. 

And the distance between what is honest and true, and what we are either compulsively lying about or tolerating in others, only festers into great anxiety and fear and uncertainly.

So that we normal Neurotics blame ourselves, and those disordered Psychopaths and Narcissists (minimally 3-4% of who you encounter out there) of course always blame everyone else. 

Which is where they show their cards. That and their well hidden cache of precious secrets.

So I began untangling and teasing out the deep tough underlying stuff we all have , that, whether we like it or not, impacts us profoundly . And inhibits physical health and longevity and our creativity and our peace of mind.

Which is our Core Work. The big tough bad work waiting patiently for us to agree to address. 

So we can break away from old stuff and go off and discover what is actually possible .

What a surprise it is, to go do the down and dirty tough emotional work, and then cycle back around ,and watch what becomes impacted by the past being laid to rest, and the present rising up and flourishing.

When we arrive there, the myriad of obstructions are minimal. 

Our clarity returns. And we say ‘Well, I don’t know about planning this this this and this, but let’s first go with this one.’ And then we do.

And we do so carefully, thinking out how to relate to ourselves , how to plan it. 

What style and words and strategy will work. And then we do.

And, no one is perfect. Ever. Always there is more to notice and let float up and become aware of and let go of and heal up and comfort down from the ledge.

But there is a learning curve.
There is an operational wisdom.

We are actually wired for this, and when we agree and understand and begin,

the developmental process in our dna simply begins it's majestic unfolding.

And then, with that infrastructure and that will, there is a way.