1.1.19 Avoiding Avoiding

The things that we are afraid of, the things that we’re avoiding, slowly but surely build up bigger and bigger obstructions in our lives.
We like to pretend we can go around them, because that way we can continue avoiding them. 

Pretending that it’s of no import, to tiptoe about, leave them be, instead of problem solve carefully and thoughtfully over time how to do the work. 

How to approach difficult upsetting stuff with patience and reassurance and the proper resources.

So that we can come up to them and we can deal with them and we can compost them down and then we become unobstructed a little bit more.

Thing is, we all want great access.
To our ability to focus, to implement changes, and to develop and sustain new habits. To open up our vast and innate capacity for clarity of thought and creativity.

But there’s no cheating, in life.
There’s only cheating in our minds.
And the only one getting fooled is ourselves.

I’ll be the first one to recount years and years of imagining that I could, with someone else’s help, be guided past my own mine fields , pop on over to the other side of them, and enjoy the same benefits I would if I had carefully approached each and every one, figured out how to deconstruct them, heal the distress that created them, do the all the emotional work, until the field was free and clear.

Sometimes it takes a long long time to become brave enough to face reality.
To get that we might as well hunker down and do the work.
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That the benefits which will result are actually some of the most meaningful things we have ever wanted in our lives.
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And instead of keeping on our blinders, and making believe we can pop over our stuck places and still grow the same way we would if we did all the work, 

sometimes we decide to face ourselves. To use our common sense.
To find our courage.
And then go ahead, and do what works.