When we are struggling with a difficult revelation, a profound betrayal , or a necessary adaptation in our lives, it’s helpful to clear the deck of over expectation, and settle ourselves down, compassionately and patiently.
It’s helpful to generously give ourselves the time to fully digest the myriad of shocks and deception and inadequacy that were going on, while we were living our days in trust and generosity and love.
Some of us, sadly, are unable to live honestly, and instead thrive on duplicity, triangulation, and self deception.
If we are despicable in this manner, and profoundly disturbed, well then, our true self will be undetected by anyone in our life. Anyone. No-one will know who we truly are until they evaluate our cache of secrets. And then? Well, the big dirty gig is up.
Whereas if we are just little tiny Small Potatoes deceptive, we will mess up. We will even get stressed and do it on purpose. We will blame others. We will find others to play these games. And when we get caught out, we will play more games, to deflect, to acquire sympathy, to play and play some more.
Of course, if we have kicked off, and then our games are discovered, well then they are laid clear for all to see. The big huge picture of what we were doing and who we truly were.
The funny thing is, if we are deceptive and we hang out with others who are deceptive, human nature insists that the others never think for a second they also are being played. Used. Deceived. Lied to. About Everything. No, somehow the Little Potato players think they are the exception. So they believe what they're told. Ohhh they are so special. While the game continues, the compulsive malevolence marches on. Silly humans.
If we are in proximity to one who makes these choices, all we can do is continue on with our own honesty, our own no-secrets ways, and remain present.
While digesting disappointment and deception, we remain in this present moment , supported by our own integrity. Our own honest ways. And those around us who actually know who we are, and what we are grappling with. Talk about 180.
Digesting, and then letting go realizations and the loss of what others asserted they gave, while never managing to be that person or truly give that love at all.
Living solidly and healthily and happily requires the maturity to fully engage with the complex addled thing that real life is .
When we are not developed enough or strong enough or true enough or honest enough,
we seek out other simpler more superficial avenues and involvements, not to live a full honest life, but to simply get our needs met.
If we are disturbed enough, we also are quietly harboring an out of control compulsive need to secretly harm as many as we can, for this is how we feed. So many Bellas, so little time, each little decrepitude thinking they were the one.
In the big reality of life, secrets tangle us underfoot. And sooner or later we fall.
In the big reality of life, deception is always revealed, trampling what we pretended to others, leaving us less a person.
Taking the memories others would have of us, family and friends and children, and crushing them with despicable truth. How very sad, when out out comes the whole dirty truth, and your progeny pores over your soiled laundry.
And yet, the others who are strong enough and true enough, with honesty and integrity, live true and love true and are remembered true and die true.
Why not die true? What a nightmare, to live and then die a lie.
Those with honesty and integrity are solid as an oak , solid as true honest mature love.
And who they are known as remains solid, instead of dilapidated and disappointed , long after they are gone.
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