Deception is such tough stuff.
It’s tough for the deceiver, and it’s tough for those they know.
Deception delivers it’s own rewards and it’s own punishments, twisting everyone in its path.
And like an addiction, it slowly becomes invisible to the one feeding on its benefits.
By its very nature, if we begin deceiving, as it balloons up into our lives, like a tumor, I’m certain that soon enough we lose sight of its parameters.
We fall under its sway.
We sublimate by creating justifications.
We turn a blind eye to all our lies.
We convince ourselves that this is what we need.
And then we subjugate those closest to us , to our rationalizations, that induce anger and blame toward them. As a defense.
I think deception grows and blooms, and takes over a person, until all the love and devotion and admiration they are receiving is going to someplace over their left shoulder. Instead of nourishing them.
And they begin to starve.
Because the person they are letting others believe them to be, by omission or choice, is not who they know themselves to be, far within themselves.
And even if they happen to be a Narcissist or a Psychopath, with little or no remorse, conscience, or insight, they still must feed.
Normal Neurotics begin feeling terrible about themselves. Perhaps they’ve even forgotten why. Which only induces more anger and rage and blame of others.
Narcissists and Psychopaths don't feel badly. They just become stressed. They physical health suffers. Because of the vast machinations they are involved in , the multilayered games and manipulations that must remain invisible for them to continue on.
How very sad, the ways we twist and turn.
How very sad, the ways we are unable, that result in our loss of being involved with the love and care that is right there.
Such a mottled mess we sometimes weave.
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