Friday, April 18, 2014

4.15.14 I Simply Didn't Have What I Needed To Face The Day. But I Did. Face The Day. We All Do

Photo: This morning a bouncing 75 lb dog woke me up, and the cats and little old Shiva. And somehow I simply didn't have what I needed to face the day. 
     But I did. Face the day. We all do.
     I went around and K smiled and hugged 
and the earth was drinking mightily and happily , 
when other places have no drinking.                        
      And I went and dropped him off
 and did a bit of work, and it was wonderful; 

and then the swollen river was simply  awe-inspiring
the showers of heavy rain comforting, 

     and the day evened itself out as it moved along, as days do, 
and as we humans do, 

     and then we all settle down, grateful for another go-around tomorrow.

This morning a bouncing 75 lb dog woke me up, 
and the cats and little old Shiva. 

And somehow I simply didn't have what I needed 
to face the day. 

But I did. Face the day. We all do.

I went around and K smiled and hugged 
and the earth was drinking mightily and happily ,
when other places have no drinking. 

And I went and dropped him off
and did a bit of work, and it was wonderful;

and then the swollen river was simply awe-inspiring
the showers of heavy rain comforting,

and the day evened itself out as it moved along,
 as days do,
and as we humans do,

and then we all settle down,
 grateful for another go-around 
tomorrow.

4.15. 14 A Truce

Photo

She is 16 1/2, and truly wishes I would simply
bring him back from whence he came. 
Uuggghhh.

And he? At a year, 
he yearns to play.
Hopes for a romp.
Settles for edging toward her,
as she sleeps,
feeling the delight of his back up against hers
looking up carefully to check to see he wont be bit
then happily laying his great baby head down, 
nestled right up to her.
She picks her head up, momentarily,
blind, deaf, powerful as ever,
small enough to walk beneath him,
and sometimes, she lets him be.

4.16.14 Being Its Glorious Self

Photo: The lovely, old, not well Maple behind the house- shading our meals in the summer. Encountering chipmunks racing about all summer- and in this snowy April morning? Simply being it's rather glorious self.

The lovely, old, not well Maple behind the house- 
shading our meals in the summer. 
Encountering chipmunks racing about all fall- 
and in this snowy April morning?
 Simply being it's rather glorious self.

4.17.14 A Bit Of Raptor Romance





Photo: Approaching mud season out by the old Food Bank


Thing is, I was standing there at the end of  Falner's Drive, 
eyeing the lope of wires as they swept from one telephone pole 
to the next, down round the bend of the rutted dirt road, 
while the cool April morning breeze shivered up my sleeves- 
til , just standing there , enjoying the subtle wild burgundy branches 
and cool new spring hints of green , coming to life,



 I did overstay my visit, and did dislodge a mating pair of large Redwing Hawks , 
who had been perched upon the telephone pole together, 
in contented equanimity , but all because of me, 
got all disturbed and took off, one after the other, 
soft white underbellies gleaming in the morning sun- 
red tails flashing, 

Photo: Thing is, I was standing there at the end of a Falner's  Drive, eyeing the lope  of wires as they swept from one telephone pole to the next, down round the bend of the rutted dirt road, while the cool April morning breeze shivered up my sleeves- til , just standing there , enjoying the subtle wild burgundy branches and cool new spring hints of green , coming to life, I did overstay my visit, and did dislodge a mating pair of large Redwing Hawks , who had been perched upon the telephone pole together, in contented equanimity , but all because of me, got all disturbed and took off, one after the other, soft white underbellies gleaming in the morning sun- red tails flashing, and did come to light upon the broad branch of a stately Elm, to continue their quiet breakfast , and that bit of spring raptor romance.

and did come to light upon the broad branch of a stately Elm, 
to continue their quiet breakfast ,
 and that bit of spring raptor romance.

4.18.14 Small love



     When I met my beloved, I warned him. Children, and animals. He was either head over heels- oblivious, or seriously underestimated what I would seriously need. But a good sport he is, probably out of devotion. And at least it wasn't horses and mules and goats. Could have been worse.
     Oh, the water snakes and fish and crabs and snails and hamsters and the beautiful rats and cats and dogs and eels and rescues and ferals and founds and all. But then, there were the rabbits.
     Yes, we fell and fell hard for the rabbits, my two younger ones and I.
     We began with one, who lived in the entryway, a house rabbit, looked like a Dobie, and hated everyone.
      When we moved to a sheep farm, he kept escaping over and over, until we realized he was happy being wild. And was safe and well-fed.
     In winter, we would see his tracks, as he came out of his burrow, dug deep beside the barn, wander over to the sheep to say hi, ate their grain and pumpkin and whatever else was on the menu, went over to the spring and drank, and hopped by the chickens for a hello and a gander at what they were having for breakfast.
     We rarely saw him, but saw evidence of him. He was far happier than before.
     We then got three rabbits at Dave's, little beautiful babies. We just couldn't help it. I was more than a push over. I WAS the pushing over.
     Turns out two boys and a girl, and eventually they all have to be separated anyway, either due to fighting or procreation.
     We visited a woman up in the hill-towns for ceramics lessons who had two angora house rabbits rambling about her cottage, and friends for years who had a fence built far into the earth, for their outdoor rabbits.
     So we constructed fences and let them have burrows and gave them small houses to perch upon.
We then decided to go visit the House Rabbit Connection, where they rescued rabbits. Yup. deadly move. We came home with three rabbits. One angora, which my daughter, of course, swore she would brush every single day. Right.
     One fateful day, we got home to find that the girls had climbed to the top of their little house, and leaped to freedom,one after the other. And so the boys, in a huge 6'x8'x6' cage, had dug their way under and out, for the first time, to hang with those girls. Needless to say there had been fights, and sex and racing about. We caught everyone, and lo and behold of course we learned we had three litters of babies. Oh joy!
     But they were all beautiful, one litter Himalayan like their siamese-looking Mama. We eventually found homes at local pet stores,and settled down to one sadly lost escapee in the woods  and two babies we just had to keep. Eight bunnies.
       I bartered with a good friend to build them four huge luxury cages, 6'high, 8' long, divided,with weather protected areas at the end. We then lined up the four cages with eight rabbit runs, so that they could all hang out together (without sex or fighting, of course) , and they were very beautiful and happy. HIgh up from the ground, and strong enough to deter the frequent passing of bears, and other creatures who would not mind a tasty snack. In winter, I would plastic the outside walls and we kept their little nooks filled with fresh fragrant hay to eat and nestle in, against the winter cold.
     We would bring them inside (the parent always has to remember, or the rabbits are forgotten...it's always up to the parent, the welfare of the creatures) and make mazes and nests and let them hang with the cats and hop about the house and let them help with homework, and sit on laps and make them cool toys and leave trails of treats for them to follow and cuddle them and love them.
     My kids learned to relax the bunnies, on their backs on your lap, and make them fall asleep. A trick or a gift...one or the other. Their big or little bunny feet in the air as their beautiful bunny faces slept in repose.
     The amount of poop was just astounding, obviously, and eventually two of them became paralyzed and needed to be inside, with diapers. Yes. Really.
     But over time ,my kids grew up and the rabbits grew old and there came the day when we were all done with beautiful, inquisitive, intelligent, individual, curious, affectionate, wise, loving rabbits.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

4.11.14 Beautiful Fogged Morning


Beautiful fogged morning, 
mist rolling down off the range, 
down the conservation field, 
and on down to the river. 

Buds and birds and moths and spiders 
active with delight at the warm Friday. 

Birds racing about competing 
and courting and flirting, 

as the aged Maple's buds slowly turn
 into beautiful masses of small red bouquets, 
covering the grand old tree as it greets yet another Spring. 


4.12.14 True Blue Dream of Sky

Photo

4.9.14 Evening Snuffling Stroll



What can I say? 

My beloved Shiva Louisa tonight,
 on her evening snuffling stroll

16 1/2 and as vibrant as the sunset

4.11.14 It's Too Early and It's Too Dark

Photo: It's too early and it's too dark
as I'm brought up from parched sleep
a long Shepherd stretched side to mine
the 16 year old Husky in frazzled dreams
your coffee water whistling off in the unlit  kitchen
as you shower off yesterday in preparation for today

Outside the sun struggles up over the long stand of still bare trees
but the conservation field strewn before me remains 
winter gold and the
260 view of purple ridge is found 
weighted and overcast in the 
soft blue brand new dawn

One new woodpecker, large, on a recently discovereddead branch 
of the grand old Maple tap tap
tapping out industriously their reminiscent  morning song

While I follow the old dog and shush the younger for the
still fast asleep tenant
babe in belly and young one fast in dreams

Struggling with myself to find some
tenuous balance between
medical and naturopathic edicts of
'You've done it now, honey' as in
made enduring parenting choices while cooking my own goose and 
it seems

The truth is a bitter sad seed tucked sharp and aching between my reticent teeth as I clasp my
ever hopeful hands 
to navigate my own
God-beloved life on this
already exhausted day

It's too early and it's too dark
as I'm brought up from parched sleep
a long Shepherd stretched side to mine
the 16 year old Husky in frazzled dreams
your coffee water whistling off in the unlit kitchen
as you shower off yesterday in preparation for today

Outside the sun struggles up over the long stand of still bare trees
but the conservation field strewn before me remains
winter gold and the
260 view of purple ridge is found
weighted and overcast in the
soft blue brand new dawn

Photo


One Downy woodpecker, large, on a recently discovered dead branch

of the grand old Maple tap tap
tapping out industriously their reminiscent morning song

While I follow the old dog and shush the younger for the
still fast asleep tenant
babe in belly and young one fast in dreams

Struggling with myself to find some
tenuous balance between
medical and naturopathic edicts of
'You've done it now, honey' as in
made enduring parenting choices while cooking my own goose and
it seems

The truth is a bitter sad seed tucked sharp and aching between my reticent teeth as I clasp my
ever hopeful hands
to navigate my own
God-beloved life on this
already exhausted days

4.14.14 Against The Gusts Of WInd

Photo: The old Ash firmly rooted in the fields by the worn  stream bed today is drinking deeply, remembering it's  parched thirst at the end of last summer, when the grasses turned brown and the heat climbed. 
     Overhead, one small sparrow is plucked from the sky by falcon, as a farmer stands outside the dairy store, watching.
     Two wild turkey hens make their way along the edge of the field, and slowly move down into the stream for a drink, as the rain pelts their deep brown feathers and the wind presses against the stand of Birch, leafless and lithe against the dark clouded skies.
     The lone Fox that sheltered in the drainage ditch all winter, whose tracks I would glimpse after each new snow  is long gone; the stream swollen and full to bursting and moving rapidly across cornfields, past beehives, and gardens.
     Once again, I am standing in this spot, watching people struggle to fasten barndoors , lug hay out to their horses in the vast fields behind all the houses;  all the students walking along the road, leaning into the vast wind  as it slaps their pants  and coats against them. As   the wild April clouds, heavy with promise of precipitation, race  on by overhead.

      The old Ash firmly rooted in the fields by the worn  stream bed today is drinking deeply, remembering it's  parched thirst at the end of last summer, when the grasses turned brown and the heat climbed.

     Overhead, one small sparrow is plucked from the sky by falcon, as a farmer stands outside the dairy store, watching.

    Photo: Like a painting from the Romanticists, old dry leaves golden and glistening  in the early morning light
 Two wild turkey hens make their wa along the edge of the field, and slowly move down into the stream for a drink, as the rain pelts their deep brown feathers and the wind presses against the stand of Birch, leafless and lithe against the dark clouded skies.

     The lone Fox that sheltered in the drainage ditch all winter, whose tracks I would glimpse after each new snow  is long gone; the stream swollen and full to bursting and moving rapidly across cornfields, past beehives, and gardens.

Photo: Someone here making omlettes and blaring particularly contemplative Grateful Dead, as the dogs and I wander the land, perusing each new change in the happily soaked April morning.

     Once again, I am standing in this spot, watching people struggle against gusts of wind, to fasten barndoors , lug hay out to their horses in the vast fields behind all the houses;  all the students walking along the road, leaning into the vast wind  as it slaps their pants  and coats against them. As   the wild April clouds, heavy with promise of precipitation, race  on by overhead.

4.15.14 Facing The Day

Photo: This morning a bouncing 75 lb dog woke me up, and the cats and little old Shiva. And somehow I simply didn't have what I needed to face the day. 
     But I did. Face the day. We all do. I went around and Kevin smiled and hugged and the earth was drinking mightily and happily , when other places have no drinking.                        
      And I went and dropped him of and did a bit of work, and it was wonderful; and then the swollen river awe-inspiring- the showers of heavy rain comforting, 
     and the day evened itself out as it moved along, as days do, and as we humans do, 
     and then we all settle down, grateful for another go-around tomorrow.

This morning a bouncing 75 lb dog woke me up, and scrambled the cats and pulled little old Shiva out of a sound, old dog sleep.

 And somehow I simply didn't have what I needed to face the day. 

But I did. Face the day. We all do. 

I went around and K smiled and hugged 
and the earth was drinking mightily and happily ,
 when other places have no drinking. 

And I went and dropped him off
 and did a bit of work, 
and it was wonderful; 

and then the swollen river  was simply awe-inspiring
 the showers of heavy rain - comforting, 

and the day evened itself out as it moved along,
 as days do, 
and as we humans do, 

and then we all settle down,
 grateful for another go-around tomorrow.

Monday, April 14, 2014

4.14.14 So Much Inside of Us Is Appeased By Sitting Out






This evening, I am out upon the ridge, nestled in the foothills of the small mountain range,  sitting in this early springtime  dusk, watching the sun go down. My shepherd and I. Far below us, lies the swollen flooded fields, from recent rains.  As we sit in the deep layers of leaf and loam, the golden  sun is setting ; reflected upon the fields and seasonal ponds, and finally, far off on the horizon, the Connecticut river itself  is glistening golden through  the still bare trees. 


Small breezes sweep through the waters , causing ripples visible even from far up here. My pup chews upon sticks and happily chases them, as I sit quietly upon  a still asleep land, save the ferns, one of the first to show themselves, even beneath snow.


A stronger wind comes through, sending all of the treetops bending and swaying, as it passes quietly by.


And at 61, I recall the song I found so wondrous at age 4. Part of a Christina Rossetti poem, Do you remember this?

Who has seen the wind?
Neither you nor I
But when the trees bow down their heads
The wind is passing by.


One lone great Blue Heron floats overhead, wings motionless, as the barrage of peepers quiets . Surprise, but they did see the bird, and all unanimously quieted,  as if at the prompt of a chorus director,  for one minute, before  hundreds return to chiming  once again.


Tired of chasing sticks, Dante noticed and barked apprehensively at an old tree stump far down the hill ; but soon enough, the pup was happily engaged in digging up the rich forest loam. Lying in it contentedly, never questioning why.


Today one of my children stopped by with their beloved, a wonderful short surprise visit. Seamless it was, sitting outside and talking. What a deep pleasure comes with settled adult offspring, love filling your breast - such deep happiness just to spend  moments together. 


And no matter the past, and believe me -  there is a past that warrants a Sylvester Stallone movie,  still, gradually the present becomes larger and more vibrant and alive, and the past is relegated to some beautiful compost the underlies the value of today.

Far below is the roadway that leads to plots along the river, no buildings, just one old dirt road that allows some farmers a pathway for their tractors. And some ease of passage for the Coywolves, although it's warmer now, food is plentiful, and they have moved far out, away from humans ;  their survival insured here in mid April.


A noisy  helicopter passes through the neighborhood, as the sun slowly becomes invisible behind the distant hills, the golden light cast upon the leaves surrounding us, then upon the waters farther away, pink  slowly set alight along the horizon above the blue, and an orange that appears all along the distance , spreading slowing across the very top of the sunset.

We have such a view from where we sit, and both of us keep looking looking for wildlife. But probably our noise and our smell stick out like any old kind of sore  thumb. 

Slowly we have come to be out here each evening, to bid good night to the day, as do millions of humans and other species the world over. Upon water and desert and forest and city and country.  

Small wind passes by far below, creating a long single ripple across the lake upon the fields .
The reflection of trees and sky in the waters glimmers as the heavens darken and the woods around us moves toward night.

Slowly the pup becomes more comfortable being out here. More accustomed to the intermittent ducks and geese and flocks of birds settling and talking amongst themselves. He begins to understand the safety versus the unknown. The peacefulness, and familiarity of our neighborhood.


So much inside of us is appeased by sitting out. The wild ones do this whenever their bellies are full and things are right with the world. Humans forget. We forget so easily the vital importance of sitting out.

I drive through my neighborhood and seeing all of the older people  sit out. Every single evening. Settling themselves. Letting all the experiences they had today slowly come to some sort of stillness.

 Oh, with young children, or a workaday world, this is much more difficult.

And I suppose it becomes an inadvertent gift when your health is compromised, your activity slowed, and there is the time and value to settling yourself well.




And in this way, another precious day comes to a close. In this way, the daytime animals settles themselves in for the night, and the nocturnal creatures will alight, as the earth turns, the wind sweeps by, and the season slowly progresses on its way.