2.27.16 To be of use

Isn't that the way of it, 

sometimes, that we
simply want to be of use?

 

2.27.16 Crone Nation

In the dream, I was living in my house, and there were women my age renting out the two upstairs rooms, and the dining room. 
There were women my age renting out the three bedrooms in the cottage. 
It was just as messy. As friendships, as siblings, as marriage, as acquaintances. 
With a little bit more detachment. It was pretty normal. 
There was a sign at the top of the driveway. It said 'Crone Nation'.

2.27.16 I was noticing

that how we choose to be in proximity 

to a person or situation modulates our wellbeing, 

and mediates difficulties. 

So when we trust ourselves, and have tea with this one, 

a day trip with that one, or disclose something very difficult only to another, there is sustained a measure of 

stability and balance in our lives.

 

2.27.16 Learning to connect

I remember my kids learning to navigate friendships.

We'd talk about how one kid was a real pain to bring on an (interminable) N.H. mountain hiking trip, but great to go bowling with.

Another was fun for a sleepover at our house, but not their house, and not with huge bunches of other kids.

Slowly, they each began to develop their sense of what to do with whom, and when it went well, or not so well, we'd have the bedtime-deconstruction-conversation, where they'd start out pretty livid at the 'dumb' friend, and end up realizing in retrospect what would have fit better.

Ending an hour sooner. Not going unaccompanied to movies with loads of sugary junk that sent that kid sky high.

It was the coolest thing to have the privilege of walking along with them, in their lives, while they figured things out for themselves. And I have to say, still is.

2.27.16 Zooming out, zooming in

 Perspective in photography is identical to perspective in our lives. At times, we are aware of the big picture. 

     Other times, we become so interested, so excited or so distressed by what is happening in one corner of our lives, that we zero in, lose tract of the fact that this view in fact is only one aspect of the whole , and often enough , if we're upset , become lost, rolling around this small vantage point, as if In fact it was the whole deal. 

     Akin to the elephant joke, where each blind person describes the animal as only the foot or the tail or the back, unaware of the actuality of the whole being.

     So often we remain in those small stuck places, even feeling somewhat comforted by the annoying constriction, until we either get so miserable or tired of the small stilted universe we've unconsciously consigned ourselves to , and erupt .... only to discover our grand big unwieldy full life once again.