1.28.13 There are people

There are the people we see all the time. At our home, or post office or store or library.

There are the people we notice leaving their houses or waving hi,  at jobs or when we vote or clear our driveway or bring out the trash.

Whose upstairs light we may notice on at 3 am while we go to the bathroom, maybe for a few weeks, and then its dark again, and they are sleeping better. Who knows.

There is the person at the book store who crankily takes our purchase til one day they let loose a wry comment and we look up into their eyes and they open themselves a crack and there they were, all along. Magic. We share a very small quiet smile, and from then on, we have that each time, the small quiet smile, between us.

We have the neighbor who locates us at the grocery store,  their hat askew, their gaze a bit frantic, their breath a bit shallow. They begin racing into a somewhat errant dislocated story about something, we are not certain what, but there is a purpose, and why not stand and watch and accompany them in case there is a delivery of their self to a yearned for destination, as they do seem in need of landing.

And sure enough, after a few minutes, they land with some relief, you waving the lit cones to lead them into the safe spot, where they sputter, the urgent words coming to a standstill, as they wake, somewhat surprised at you standing there, you the conductor who ushered them to their standing-room-only spot..to settle themselves somehow, not certain how they got there, but now as  they turn from you, all is  forgotten. 

And you shrug, turn away , to do your errand and weave into your self the interaction, into the finely threaded, shining multicolored person you grow, one more moment in your tapestry of self, one more turn back to that which you were on your way to being.

1.31.13  Most Of My Nights

CT. River, Hadley, MA

I do most of my writing by paraphrase
a slip and a daze
a long phantom raze

Most of my nights are spent somnolent
sequating rents;
heedless Intent

In wild raining mornings the trees thrash low
heart like a spear
dig deep; strike slow

                                                 
                                                 1.31.13 Hadley Back Road in Winter

                           "Countries are ransacked, valleys drenched with blood. Though it seems                                .                          untimely I still publish my belief in the egg, the contents of the egg, the 
                           warm coal, and the necessity for pursuing whatever fire delights and sustains you.
                               -E.B. White, from The Story of Charlotte's Web by Michael Sims

1.31.13 Thankyou Frances Moore Lappe

                                                 
                                                      Hadley, MA Flooded Winter Field

                                                                 I've grown certain 
                                                            that the root of all fear 
                                                    is that we've been forced to deny 
                                                                      who we are.
                                                              -Frances Moore Lappé

1.31.13 Thankyou Calvin Trillin  

                                             
                                           1.31.13 Connecticut River, Hadley, MA

                                        The most remarkable thing about my mother
                                          is that for thirty years she served the family 
                                                             nothing but leftovers. 
                                           The original meal has never been found. 

                                                                    -Calvin Trillin

12.13.12 The new shoes

12.13.12

     This morning, I decided that it was  a kind of birthday for me. I never care about opening presents early, but I asked K if I could open my present from him ...like, right now... He asked why. I told him it was a kind of re-birth-day for me. I told him I had shaken the package. He asked what it felt like. I said it felt like TWO THINGS bumping together!! He laughed, and said, 'Sure, go ahead!' I said "Is it what I think it is???' He said ' I don't know! Go OPEN it!'

     So I tore it open, and it was everything I wanted it to be. I was so delighted, admiring them. He said "Put them ON!" I was like Cinderella with the perfect glass slippers, fitting like gloves, lovely soft fuzzy brown slip-on gloves.

     He laughed at me. I told him I felt like a 5 year old with new Keds- you remember? You just knew you could run faster and jump higher. He said "On rainy, icy days, you must wear your boots and carry these with you. Really. " I said, 'Oh, okay." Jumping high, running fast, super fly....oh yeah!!!

                                                                            12.10.12   

     So warm around here. Hearing all the nutso struggles in our political arena about filibusters and so many illogical things, which I guess simply comes w. the territory of trying to run a big country of humans.

     Out back, I washed the little safe enclosure the possum sleeps in every night, and put down several layers of poly fleece to keep the cold concrete away. It is inside the back doorway, behind a big piece of plywood, so small coyote-free tunnel. So adorable to see their impression left on the blankets when I bring the dog out each morning.

     In the meantime, life is puttering along...the pace quickening w. holidays. I remind my clients that holidays are optional and there are no rules. We all seem to think there are rules about it all and so many fret about money and thinking they have to DO things.... when truly, not only do we get to make our own wisest choices, but if necessary, we can say to those who know us, or even care about us, that we are simply trying to live in a sane balanced manner.                                       .       Thursday morning in my practice,  a stiff person in their 90's w. a new disc out, a farmer w. his sore spots and nerve stuff, a singer w. constriction. Immunity improving in others, chronic respiratory challenges on the mend. Man, what a lucky person I am to have this job.

     Plus, every morning when I arrive, I see where the office possum was last night, because they come by, having midnight dinner in my garden, and then leave poops in a line, day after day, all along the edge of the walks. Noone knows all these little dark bundles are turds but me, and I find it pretty hysterical. Guess after that late dinner, they just have to poop right then and there. Territorial, or utilitarian? Ah well, off we go into winter.