8.22.15 The dew was so thick and wet , we left tracks

Around 7 this morning I took the young Shepherd down to the river, to walk along the arroyo.

The dew was so thick and wet , we left tracks, and could see the tracks of deer and fox and coyote and smaller beings , who, earlier than us, crossed the path quietly , and made their way down to the river to drink their fill, perhaps to bathe.

The sun rose and lingered behind one glorious complex cloud , that I met up with when I got up, and greeted once again near the waters, all fish scaled with mare's tails , really a spectacular show , breezing by, as the sun rose and it's warmth melted away the wet of the grasses, the paths of creatures hidden once again, and we got on with our day.

8.22.15 Thing one and thing two

We're doing that thing. Actually, Thing One and Thing Two.

 I mean, each of us has all kinds of things, that happen sometimes. Things that happen despite the best laid plans. Things happen in the midst of the best laid plans. Calculated risks, for future benefit. So yeah, we're in the midst of that.
Wonderful tenants in that tiny cottage next door leaving after seven or eight years, so it being an important time to renovate. Lots of unexpected things happening, so a lot of family volunteer work. Great generosity. Much financial expenditure. Finishing a little late, for a college town yearly schedule. So, the waiting game.

Which brings us to Thing Two. You know, that thing where you soak the beans and then you cook the beans and then you make lots and lots of beans, maybe with rice. Made with loads of garden things. In fact, mostly living off of the garden. Until enough Thing One expenditures are made. Waiting for the next paycheck.

Then your kid in grad school is waiting for their student loans arrive, and you loan them some money for their new apartment. They're doing so well. You'd like to do more.

So, yeah. Great chili, for lunch and dinner, a bunch of days. Great pea soup, with homemade croutons, and sautéed kale in every variation you could ever ever imagine. Lentil soup, cannellini beans. On and on. And actually? While many in the world are hungry, you're eating, and healthily.

No treats, no and no lots of other things, in the midst of what is commonly called delayed gratification.
It's not bad training. Cross training in fact. Somehow you find yourself relishing other aspects of the day, besides the excitement of a delicious fish meal. Not taking for granted wandering through the grocery store, picking up whatever suits your fancy.

Instead, it's life, pared down. It's yourself, pared down. By circumstance, by blessings, by love, by all the gifts that fill your arms. Each night when you go to bed, and each morning when you awaken, if only the eyes open to see them .

8.22.15 Where we huddled

Sometimes I think about how my mother-in-law had a dad 

who married a woman about her age, for his third wife,

and when his seventh was born , my husband, why then his wife died,

 and he delivered his infant to his oldest daughter and her husband , to raise.

Sisters becoming mothers .

Here, yes, I was the little mother, with my brood

who I possessively and protectively considered mine .

All of us, save my big brother and unborn sister,

on my grandparent's knobby sofa,

by the baby grand where Baptist hymns only were sung;

where we huddled together, all for one and one for all.

8.20.15 Move the stars

"Human expression is like a cracked kettle 

on which we beat out music for bears to dance to, 

when really we long to move the stars to pity."
                                               Gustave Flaubert