5.6.15 Working it

           It's really such an odd thing, the present moment. And no matter how often we listen to mindfulness ditties while we drive or go to sleep or read snippets in the bathroom or keep the books by our bedside to glance at a bit before bed, still, it comes as a shock  how flooded we can become, when we loose our footing, and begin looking at the past and the future and speculating and falling into fear. Anxiety. What if. How will this be. Can I manage that.

           Planning for a certain amount of time, with factors known and others we estimate, works fine. There is a beginning, an end, and a line on a to-do list of very concrete information we will acquire, to put into the mix of the plan.

           I learned to tell myself that at 5 pm, all bets were off for processing emotional things. The shop is open in the morning, and in the afternoon is explicit time for a walk, and the open invitation for things to come up from the stream, no matter how large or small. Inconsequent or searing. Whatever, there is time, and it seems constructs create opportunities and limits. Boundaries.

As in, nope; it's after five, and night time is a complicated time to process hard stuff. Stuff about the unknowable. Old stuff. Crap stuff. Everything takes on an odd, unsteady tinge, come night and edging up to bedtime. 

           So it's a good time to just be here. Just be right now, while we make our dinner and unwind our day, in whatever manner is best for us. Not a good time to rile ourselves with that which sets us off or brings to the table difficult things.

           Morning is great for what is a bit much, but which we want to engage in. Morning has the fresh chops to deal with some news about the world, news about our area of the world, inquiring into things we need to figure out, to check in on.

           When you begin telling yourself that night is for cooling out, and anything that needs to come up and rise up and have your full and devoted attention while you feature that very thing- can come up in the morning, or just after work, or at lunchtime while you have a small stroll, or while your drive home, or cook dinner and do the laundry, will listen very well. 

We are very trainable, if the plan is a realistic manageable one that works well.

With good operating instructions then comes ease.