4.25.14 Something We Begin To Notice

Something we begin to notice as we grow older is that the most memorable, thick with import, moments of our lives are not the disney movie type vignettes.

But rather the depth of feeling involved in either the day to day small experiences.. morning tea, the laugh with a neighbor, the brush of lips upon ours of a beloved, setting our home to rights, arriving at work fresh and ready for the day, or at peace with the present that our day consists of ; or other small, often repetitive experiences. 

Yet, sometimes, an experience that stays with us, with feeling, may not be a wonderful dinner or conversation or sunset, but an odd difficult something else, that leaves us with something indescribably rich and deep and lasting.

One of my most memorable moments that still is clear to me as that day, involved sitting in a car, holding hands silently with my husband, in a city of Springfield parking garage.

Low, dark grey cement ceiling. A view before us of city buildings. The heat, so early in the morning, already oppressive.

He quietly sat with me, and I settled myself prior to a disposition, where opposing lawyers would try to disprove the severity of a brain injury I had sustained. 

We simply sat and looked ahead and breathed together. And that closeness, that devotion, that comfort and mutuality at that moment settled deep down into my soul.

It so happens that we then walked in to have me questioned and cross questioned, we discovered that their neurologist , who they  had paid $8,000 to examine me and disprove any assertions of lasting injury, gave them a 'hands down, too bad, its all true statement'. 

Somehow they had just then opened the report, and the evident dismay splayed across their faces.

They then walked up to me, went belly up, we all signed a slew of papers, and we were out of there.

Fast as could be. The end.  Holding hands, as the day went on its way.

In pretend, tv, disney land, you would imagine the most important days would be things like victories or lifesavings or births or falling in love and all.

And those are so remarkable, and often sear our very essence.

 But the small gems of day to day life , or the errant stilled times , often have the capacity to transform us ; to transform that which we are made of.