3.18.15 Because fiddling around feeling unhappy about stuff that isn't ours

Sometimes people write me about other people.

 I tell them that the interactions I have with someone are mine. That their interactions are theirs, not mine. 

If it’s a good friend, we talk and it's all about your or my experience, not the other person.

What you speak of  is not mine to share. It's just not mine.

And I value people who honor that with me.

It's good for us to slowly learn what is ours.

 To share, to talk about, to fret about.

And what is not ours at all, so we gently teach ourselves to stop mulling over or wringing our hands about stuff that isn't ours.       

Because fiddling around feeling unhappy about stuff that isn't ours destabilizes us .

There isn't much in our culture anymore that clarifies this for us, 

save the deep murmur of internal distress and anxiety, that signals how we have pushed beyond wise boundaries, 

and the stuff we are messing with is creating a warning message of discomfort.