It all comes back to us: the seeming 20,000 steps of grieving. Still, what better way to honor anyone laid to rest- than stopping and feeling the sadness and grief and loss- and watch it pass overhead, as a cloud does.
As another feeling of such depth or regret or sadness or sense of loss rises up from within us.
Resonating with so many old losses.
As we pay tribute to the feelings - a way of untethering them, loosening their binds, so that they fly free from entanglement within us, and off they go, overhead, drifting away .
Over and over again, tiring , such feeling. Until we still grieve. Miss. Love. Wish.
But somehow, we become lighter . We have a new clarity regarding they who we love so and have bid goodbye to.
Over and over, lessening over time; sometimes intensifying again, as if new entanglements within us are loosening with such wisdom and sadness and comfort -
As if in the past we mistakenly thought we would keep the lost one cleaved to us by attaching ourselves . Which rewards us only with fear, and more pain.
But now ? We discover it is the loosening, the letting go, that brings the fullness of our love for them, our wonder, and our gratitude.
And suddenly, we are comforted. Filled. And more and more often, fleetingly, there is joy.
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