2.2.17 Oh Kittens FB video

https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1213066248730157/

Sometimes while I'm rest rest resting, I draw little tiny things. As thankyou notes to all those who help us so much, here. Or just because. A little over an inch. Who knew.

2.1.17 The great grand waters

Down by the Connecticut, the ice floes were returning slowly with the sometimes cold cold days.
So I stumbled along the ice slick path, overlooking the river, staying well to the side, watching as the old old river's waters flowed far down to their own uncertainty.
Far down past the hills and mountains that were rained upon. Far down from the brooks and streams and smaller rivers that slowly feed into this big one. The rain bathing trees and brush and every living thing, giving life.
All those places that water from the sky has traveled, and then come together here, to rush on past, filled with all sorts of life, moving inexorably toward the great grand ocean that surrounds the earth.

2.1.17 Down by the farmers fields, and FB video

     It was a warmish midwinter's day, cold enough for hats , the newly fallen snow turning all things a brilliant glistening white. The clouds were breathtaking from dawn to dusk, beneath the deep blue skies. 
     So in between rest resting, we went about to do a few things, arrange other things, and at the near end of the glorious day did bring the bouncing three year old for their welcome romp. 
      Off we went down the farmers fields road, fresh untouched snow crunching quietly beneath our feet. Far on the horizon, and slowly, the magnificent sun seemed suspended , glowing gold and orange along the horizon, casting light upon the crimson tops of all the budding Maples. 
      Til our wise old earth turned and turned again, casting us once again into our rest.


https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1212419788794803/

2.1.17 Now is the time

Now is the time when the late afternoon light 

turns the treetops a shimmering red, 

as their curled growing buds slowly ripen toward spring.

2.1.17 Out where we breathe + FB video

As we walked along in the late afternoon dusk, up they rose from resting and feeding upon the river, heading off for the night .



https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1212410968795685/



Geese in flight, as the earth turns into its darkness.

2.1.17 Weather love

Hooray poor water table; a tiny bit of snow . 
I. Love. New England . I just do.
Unpredictable weather
Snow and cold and hot and humid in all kinds of 
combinations with little or no notice.
Turn off that tv weather forecast.
Open yourself to surprise.

https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1211988775504571/

1.31.17 Out under the morning skies

1.31.17 In love and in dreams

https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1211358925567556/

     What matters most is something slowly rendered throughout a lifetime, no matter our duration. So that, if iwe are here long enough, we have that time as a small one, trying so hard to discern that which is right and good and best and most valued by others, in hope that then we also will be valued.
     We seek these things socially, and bend down to work hard on focusing and accomplishing and achieving mastery , via our prefrontal cortex, think thinking that this must be the one tiny minuscule portion of us that holds that key, to mastery, and then the great and good acceptance .
     What we don't realize ,until so much time has passed, is that this tiny part of us has only one vantage point in the cosmos, from which to view that which we treasure. And yearn for.
     So it becomes like the blindfolded person touching the monument, and describing one small aspect, as if it was the entirety.
     As years pass, as we are slowly rendered by our lives, whether this is so difficult or middling lovely, we begin to settle. We slowly discover the grand wealth of perception and wisdom, and even answers, via that Deep Wise Self of ours, that we begin slowly to get to know.
     That knows things about the past and the future and the right right now. Good and solid and lasting counsel.
     We begin to open our consciousness and awaken to the huge entirely, of Life, that we are woven from, and woven into, and are weaving.
     Much like the gentle snow , falling down through the heavens, down soundlessly upon the ground. Now and then,melting and venturing deep into this earth of ours. Sometimes passing through hot summers and then veering back into the coldest frozen winters.
     Lie back, and imagine the realizations that arise day after day, in a life. And then fall down upon the earth, the wet nourishing the soil to life, the cold bringing sleep. And then that warmth of spring,bringing awakening once again.
     The fertile earth, snowed and rained and fogged and shone upon, composting our every growth and realization and love and dream.

1.31.17 A little flutter cloud

 that appeared, 
and just as quickly, was gone.

1.30.17 Sometimes

Sometimes it just makes sense 
to retreat and resettle. 
Before one goes any further.

1.30.17 Little Window FB video

https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1210152532354862/

1.30.17 That's how it happens

That is how it happens. 

We'll be standing somewhere, breathing in the early morning air,
 watching the day arrive. 

We will see the earth turn just a smidgeon, 
the light from the sun shifts a bit, 

and just for a moment, amazing grace.

1.30.17 Good morning. Here we all are.

     Outside in the cold morning air, the birds are still sleeping, the squirrels arriving at the birdseed table to converse while having breakfast, their small furred hands cupped together, lifting and holding seeds and nuts and berries.
     Slowly, the zillion Sparrows awaken, along with the Titmouse and Cardinals and Doves and Downy Woodpeckers and Flicker and Chickadees and Juncos, all part of family lineages, that stretch back before our time. 
     So I sit with my cup of warm miso, by the living room window, watching, as the skies lighten and the cats chip chip at the birds and the day we are given opens up to all things.


The day we have been given

1.28.17 Gliding noiselessly by

The funny thing about knowing a place in all its seasons is that it's a lot like knowing another person in all their situations. 

There are some probabilities, many unanticipated things come up, and if you love, and want to truly know who they are, day to day, you won't be yearning for one thing, when in fact they are in another phase. 

That's how I feel about places. 

Why would I today long to be with this place in summer, when I love this place, and here is their quiet intricate winter magnificence. 

On an overcast late January day, with thick blue-tinged clouds streaming overhead, and coffee-cream puddles, iced with ice inflected lace, and a warm wind ruffling all things, as the Goshawk glides noiselessly by.

1.28.17 Saturday comes to Sparrow Lane

     My third grade teacher was named Miss Sparrow.
(Do you remember when people were 'Miss's?
Do they still offer that option on forms? )
     She was tall and white,with short grey hair and glasses, stern and clear and good . 

     There were ,for the most part, other teachers who were not these things, as the town I grew up in had money ,but chose not to spend it on schools.
     Yet, there she was, day after day, calmly going about our business. No fuss, teaching me things I could barely learn. Watching me alone out in the playground, without pity or disdain, but solid regard.
      Somehow her no nonsense presence, unwavering, always right-honestly-there, gave me that , which was nowhere else but in her.
     Kids know these things. They are no bullshit until they begin twisting themselves to fit in.
     Sometimes it helps to not fit in for so long.
     It is the path of so many individuals, and so many groups of us.
     Not fitting until we simply fit ourselves .
     Being rendered by the good and the evil, until we grow up and fledge, and rely then on what we've internally grown.

1.28.17 The sun

     I was thinking about how much I love having a sun. Living on a planet. That has gravity, so, much like Petit Prince illustrations, so that, wherever we live, we are pretty much upside down or sideways or right side up.
     Because we are on a planet, spinning in the middle of endlessness. Endlessness. 
     Try to imagine endlessness. 
     And there is no up or down. 
     I mean, I guess it's probable that a sun being in the picture seems somewhat mandatory, especially in the scheme of things, in our cosmos of endless numbers of universes, stretching out , unfolding out over timelessness. Sun and warmth and light and life giving ; water and life.
     I watch the afternoon pull to a close.
     I watch as our earth rotates ,and as it turns , the sun seems to scroll down the page.
     And every single day of our lives, what happens up there in those endless skies is unique and unrepeated.
     And at times I find peace and reassurance imagining that the short flash of humans in the cosmos will build to a toxic polluted crescendo, and implode. And after a few millennia, the satellites that crowd around our planet will shudder and crumble , their garbage drifting off, and ever so slowly this old earth will shake us off. Will renew itself again.     

1.27.17 Gentle persistent winter sundown rain

https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1206427556060693/


Down by the Eagle Sanctuary






Sundown by the farmers fields

1.27.17 I love

I love photographs the way I love moments saved 
the way I love children, making their way.

1.27.17 Strong, powerful

Even though the winter winds quieted and the sunset fueled itself to sleep, 
down by the river there still remained the deep waters churning, 
and the river life strong and powerful.

1.27.17 The vital importance of caring for ourselves in complex times

     

All over the world, humans are struggling to adapt to, and have a hand in doing something about the grave brandy new situation in the US. When we've been here long enough, we know a few things. One of them is that it is not sustainable to think or feel all kinds of things any old time. First thing when we wake, night time before bed. It may be working for you , but it won't for most, this free/for-all shock and fear and anger .
     One of the cool things you learn, as a survivor of any old kind of trauma, is to talk kindly with yourself, figure out how to make constructive time to feel certain things and problem solve others, how to have 'No Processing Times', usually at night and during sleep and first thing in the morning, and how to notice obsessive circular thinking, and snip it in the bud.
     The first thing helpful for many is to recognize there will be an important need to make time to think and feel certain things. If we give ourselves that opportunity, one we can rely on daily, then we can both peruse what we are concerned with, digest it somewhat, and be able to get back to both our day to day lives, and seeing what information gathering, communicating, and problem solving might be constructive.
     Taking the subway or bus or car to work is sometimes a good time, to imagine ourselves sitting by a stream. And imagine that whatever is distressing us is coming down the stream. My own thoughts or feelings look like clouds riding the current. 
     We can say 'That is a thought ', or, 'There is a feeling' as we release one thing after another .
     This identifying helps us create some distance and awareness, that enables us to feel the impact of that thought or feeling, digest it some, and then see it float on by.
     When we do this, this hearing out of what has been building up, it can feel quite intense, in our body. We need simply remember that , like a conveyor belt or a river, to keep in mind that it WILL pass by.
     Come to find out, the effective value is not in the 'thinking thinking'. It is in giving aware air time to our thoughts and feelings, and then understand that they will pass by. And we will be left relieved and clearer. To love and breathe and problem solve , and then enjoy the day we are given.
     The other trick one learns from trauma work, for this current situation IS world wide trauma , is to talk with ourselves about what time of day is good for us to catch up with news or communicate about it or problem solve about it or feel it. 
     In order to protect our health and our sleep, it cannot be willy nilly. That would be like letting a five year old eat treats and race around any old time they want. That crazy kid will fall apart. 
     Instead, we figure out the best times of day to mindfully make time to feel and think difficult things that have accumulated. 
     We decide perhaps NOT to do that after 5 pm, or 8 pm, or 10 pm, whatever works for us. 
     We say to ourselves 'I'm going to learn how to do that current events reading/thinking/communicating only until this time of day .' And then slowly learn to stick to it.
    Sometimes these distressing shocking events will creep into our sleep. 
     We are not powerless little things. We can learn to give air time to our distress earlier in the day to relieve the pressure, to reduce intrusive thoughts at bedtime or while asleep. We have these choices.
    We can talk with ourselves about when we will think and read and communicate about world events that upset us, and when we will stop, and just enjoy ourselves peacefully.
     Over time, if it's what we want, this becomes easier. Especially if we get the connection between sitting aware with our difficult concerns, and the relief we will have at the end of the day and in our more restorative sleep.

1.27.17 In between

Between night and dawn

The break of day

2.16.17 Here we all are FB video

Here we all are, all over a great big complex country, seeing what may be possible . 

In the meantime, down by the farmers fields, in town with the beautiful creamy brown 

potholes, or out by the searing sunset and the Eagle Sanctuary, beauty does reign.



https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1205105992859516/

1.26.17 Within each one a universe

     Today I caught sight of these beautiful potholes,that occur every year, in my town. They are coffee-with-cream colored, each holding within itself a unique reflection of sky and clouds and trees overhead, shining in each small window. 
     I was walking among them, amazed, as I looked inside each one, when this person came by, interested in what I was doing. 
     I said " These are here every year. They are so beautiful. They're like installation art. Someone should put these in a town square or a museum." 
     So they stopped, and looked down into one, then another, smiling quizzically at me. 
     I explained "Really , within each one, a universe."



   

And, of course, you know me, so...

https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1205101766193272/

1.26.17 We are all in this boat

 If we want, we can be careful how we frame things, so we don't increase the drama. We can set limits with ourselves of how often we think / focus/talk about/ read about the events in our country. On days with more ease, there is a bigger allowance for thinking, talking, becoming informed, seeing what small thing we can do. On hard days, there's much less room to do any of that, and we benefit from noticing the difference. 

When we shut down, we know our balance in those things is off. It's like dancing with our Deep wise self , and engaging with the world at the same time, learning how to honor our own feedback. Seeing what's possible in terms of both being aware, contributing our voices, and retaining stability and balance.

1.25.17 As the warm day roused itself

Last May, in flip-flop weather, one early morning, 
as the warm day roused itself, and the rain began to fall.

1.25.17 As it was, is now, and evermore shall be FB video

As so many who came before us , upon whose efforts we stand, 
we hold dear our intelligence, our interdependence, 
and our great committed regard for this earth and its peoples.





https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1203817622988353/

1.25.17 Window of the Sky FB Video

https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1203802612989854/



In this trying time, love and faith 
and wisdom and laughter and beauty are important.

1.25.17 Little Wing FB video

https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1203409596362489/