Saturday, October 4, 2014

10.4.14 And Then Knowing Ourselves; Not Losing Track

The day is dark, and wet, and pouring, the forest of Maples and Ash and Beech and Oak still bright green, but with some tips turning their florid fall colors.

Photo: The day is dark, and wet, and pouring, the forest of Maples and Ash and Beech and Oak still bright green, but with some tips turning their florid fall colors. 
     Still more that are loosening, falling, as if some reckoning has been sent about to all- the scurrying, preparing Chipmunks, the pairing-up mates of Broad-wing Hawk and Harrier and the intermittent Eagle- spiraling together in some sort of 'Shall we stay, or go?' conversation, as the days and nights grow cooler and the light begins to sway away from us all. Our immune systems and vestibular systems taking note, responding with all the exquisite abilities they have to adapt to what needs adapting.
      And here within come the  dark cold times of restoration. Of keeping warm, with our soft woolens and warm socks;  and soups and broths and steaming stews, hot teas and miso, with warmth that seeps deep into our gut, our kidneys, our liver, our extremities, with delight; that nourish and temper and subdue.
     Early evenings to replace giddy late summer dusk; still, the going out of doors to greet the day and register the changes, and above all, remain a part of the cycles that shall move through us, with us, or past us. Depending on our choice and awareness and predilection for , eyes open,  engaging in that irretrievable sense of a found moment. Turning away from living our lives too busy and taken up, so that we lose.  A moment. A lost day or week. A  relationship.And wake, shaken, to find ourselves far far down our road.
      As the seasons cycle through, interminably, with our small selves here, just for our walk-on bit part, so that each of our season of life- whatever  yours or mine might be, is here for for it's embrace. For arm-in-arm walking through the wet rainy day, the wind swept woods; knowing deeply those who matter, right now, in the important time, this moment. 
     And then knowing our selves; not losing track, nor waking with that heart rending communique- of disconnect. No; far better to remain in pace with the season and the time of life and those we choose to know, and our own honorable movements through our days.     Still more that are loosening, falling, as if some reckoning has been sent about to all- the scurrying, preparing Chipmunks, the pairing-up mates of Broad-wing Hawk and Harrier and the intermittent Eagle- spiraling together in some sort of 'Shall we stay, or go?' conversation, as the days and nights grow cooler and the light begins to sway away from us all. Our immune systems and vestibular systems taking note, responding with all the exquisite abilities they have to adapt to what needs adapting.

      And here within come the  dark cold times of restoration. Of keeping warm, with our soft woolens and warm socks;  and soups and broths and steaming stews, hot teas and miso, with warmth that seeps deep into our gut, our kidneys, our liver, our extremities, with delight; that nourish and temper and subdue.
     Early evenings to replace giddy late summer dusk; still, the going out of doors to greet the day and register the changes, and above all, remain a part of the cycles that shall move through us, with us, or past us. Depending on our choice and awareness and predilection for , eyes open,  engaging in that irretrievable sense of a found moment. Turning away from living our lives too busy and taken up, so that we lose.  A moment. A lost day or week. A  relationship.And wake, shaken, to find ourselves far far down our road.
      As the seasons cycle through, interminably, with our small selves here, just for our walk-on bit part, so that each of our season of life- whatever  yours or mine might be, is here for for it's embrace. For arm-in-arm walking through the wet rainy day, the wind swept woods; knowing deeply those who matter, right now, in the important time, this moment.
     And then knowing our selves; not losing track, nor waking with that heart rending communique- of disconnect. No; far better to remain in pace with the season and the time of life and those we choose to know, and our own honorable movements through our days.

10.4.14 Photographs: Exploring The Green Mist Plant Like Entering Another Universe



















Friday, October 3, 2014

10.3.14 "Maybe Learning How To Be Out In The Big World Isn't The Epic Journey Everyone Thinks It is."


“Maybe learning how to be out in the big world isn’t the epic journey everyone thinks it is.

Maybe that’s actually the easy part. The hard part is what it right in front of you. 

The hard part is learning how to hold the title to your very existence, to own not only property, but also your life. 

The hard part is learning not just how to be, but mastering the nearly impossible art of how to be at home.” 
MEGAN DAUM ‘BEING AT HOME’
 











10.3.14 And then of course, our Monarchs.

Photo: And then of course, our Monarchs. Only seen a total of four this year. Not good. Not good at all. But, here they are. One today, so lovely. Joining on the periphery of the party. Doing fine.

And then of course, our Monarchs. 

Only seen a total of four this year. 

Not good. Not good at all.

 But, here they are.

 One today, so lovely. 

Joining on the periphery of the party.

 Doing fine.

10.3.14 Wishing Them A Full Belly and a Safe Trip


I've been watching these butterflies for years. At times, the entire Hadley Fields have been covered with them, all hatching at the same time, partying together in their new transformation. Hundreds upon the dirt road up there, saying hi and then munching down, as they must, before they depart on their long long journey. 


Sometimes I wonder if they recognize each other, after they turn. All species being far more complex that we pretending-to-be-top-of-the-heap-dingdongs every imagine. So that every time another species does something we finally are able to notice, we think it is so AMAZING. Or CUTE. Sigh. 


At any rate, one was eating happily on a vine in a pot, so I postponed bringing it in, so that it could go fill up and then do it's magical thing that we can only imagine doing. 


Still, it just fills me up to go near the Torch plants, 7' now and really that bright orange, and the old old enormous Aster, and watch the huge party, as so many zillions of bees and butterflies land and fill themselves. 
In the meantime, the whole conservation field next door has been filled with these beautiful yellow butterflies for a week or so, like fireflies, only bright beautiful yellow creatures, spinning and dancing together, twirling in the air in groups, just having the best all out great time, being alive. Wishing them strong bodies and full bellies and then, a safe trip.

10.3.14 I'm Going to Lay My Prayers On That


             On the way into the library today, I went down the street to photograph a house that might be a good model for the home of the protagonist of the book I'm writing. 


Then I wandered past the Amherst Historical Society Museum, with its towering, ancient Ash, into the 18th century garden that the garden society created years ago, and maintains.



There are many stone benches and some wooden ones, and protected areas.


And so, we all know, a lot of people who have no homes sleep there.
But fall is upon us; winter on it's heels , once again.


Inside the library ,there was a presentation on those of us who are homeless; a very first step in the dialogue of becoming aware and involved in people in our own towns who have no homes.
The news has been reporting some towns and cities in different states and countries that are actually creating excellent well thought-out models. 


Models that consider the wide variety of ways that we become homeless. And the wide variety of needs we have.

Wishing I was my young and healthy self, so that I could be active in this.



I do remember once, when my oldest was three, we had to move out of the house we were renting. They were selling the house, and we hadn't the savings to put down first last and security on a new rental, so suddenly.
A friend of my husbands was going away for a month, and let us use his Amherst apartment, downtown.
It was kind of exciting, looking over a tunnel, the downtown sounds. Of course, the kid could hardly go to sleep. Because the bed was a water bed. And you had to forever keep them from trying to jump on it. I kind of could get the appeal though, the way it splooshed and splashed, like an ocean.
One day the super told us we had to leave for a few hours, while they fumigated. I didn't know about pesticides then. So off I went with my kid, and then toddled back in to the stinky place.
When the friend returned, we had more friends in Montague center who invited us to stay in their back room, a very nice finish strong.
As we slowly saves, from me cleaning houses in between going to the university, and my beloved working at a cooperatively owned garage.
As we moved Montague, we realized there were cockroaches in our belongings. From the friend's apartment.
So we had to lay them all out on the lawn for several days, hoping for sunshiny skies, and then shake and check each item, before putting it away in the room.
At this point, my father caught onto the situation from one of my siblings, and offered a small down payment for a house. A big surprise. That's how we ended up first house, the three-story with the barn in the tunnel across the street, and downtown Montague. Our apartment with five different levels, same as our sweet funny home now.
We would've saved up. It just takes a while when you have low-paying jobs- to save up for a down payment, and fix your credit.
From the times when you have no health insurance, and you rack up the hospital or emergency room bills.
Somebody bailed us out. Of not having a home. That's not available to everybody.
Inside the library, checking out books, the librarians and I talked about the beauty of the garden, the constant presence of homeless people sleeping back there. And the presentation standing on boards down the middle of the main room.

It's a start. To have a local dialogue. Instead of spikes in protected areas of cities, to prevent homeless people from sleeping there. Not that it's simple or easy or safe either.
And so many different kinds of individuals become homeless. Families. For some, it just snowballs, and no one is around to build them out. For others, there is a con the city of distress, that at times causes serious problems in the town.
Sometimes, people don't want to live by any rules, and are unable to manage to get help. They simply want places they can go to eat, maybe be urged to except some medical care, and have some place to crash when the nights are too severely cold.


But there seems to be an increased interest at present, that involves awareness and an determination to use actual, accurate information and realism- in figuring things out. Doing things. Other then castigation and denial. 

In the meantime, there are organizations in each town or city that can tell you where to do your online donations, as the cold hits us, hard. Tiny bits, by big bunches of people. Just what I love. Going online and just hitting that button for the $10. Making a big bunch of difference, when held between all of us. 
While some countries and towns and states are actually beginning to have some clarity about how people become homeless.

GONE is the 'BIG SURPRISE' of the life this or that person led, til a series of events snowballed, and the disaster overwhelmed their self-esteem, their tenacity, and dropped them in the land of hopelessness. Looking for all the world not...like the person they were.

Homelessness can happen to any one of us. Like illness, we think that if we turn away and pretend, we won't catch the germ that causes it.

Homelessness can happen to people who have addictions, or mental illness, too. Many places are figuring out how to respond to different people, with differing situations.

We can do the NEW 'There but for the grace of my money and relatives and job...go I'.

Or we can really learn how these things happen. Not blame people. Yes recognize the health risk or safety risk that is all too real, at times. No Pollyannaing.

I'm just relieved that there is some new focus and problem solving going on, that is not based on wishful 'Just Say No' thinking (which does work for some of us, some of the time, and yeah, we are responsible for our actions and efforts and situations. But sometimes? Things just happen.)

I'm encouraged by the new clarity.
I'm going to lay my prayers on that.