Its
of interest the way in which we humans, as our cultures develop, tend to trust
that which we can prove, can posture, can debate in a linear fashion. Can
support with what we aspire to be empirical knowledge, science. In our drive to
be validated and honored, we began to leave behind the far murkier terrain of
knowing within ourselves, and by that hand, are leaving behind even that
capacity. The sense of life. Of others. Of ourselves.
Time
was, and still is in many places, that people had the self same sense of their
lives, their health, and their approaching mortality that we have always
observed in other creatures.
Other
beings know this about themselves, and prepare for what will be. Who knows if
they feel grief or regret in the advent of their own demise. Their fellow
creatures certainly do, something that humans used to understand, and then
tragically lost.
These
days, we spend all kinds of time sharing vignettes of creatures behaving in
profound ways, because we find it surprising. Amazing. Cute. Touching. Myself,
I think we are in the process of remembering.
As
opposed to just knowing well that
animals have great complexity and, duh, care and feel a great deal. A sublime
mixture of instinct and survival and love.
We
have this odd compulsion to go about analyzing and measuring and questioning
and suspecting and assuming all sorts of erroneous things, until which time we
once again disprove our very selves, and get to return to where humans were
before, knowing.
And
of course, there is the fact that, with the exception of the aristocracy, for
zillions of years humans saw and midwifed births of other creatures, and
witnessed their illnesses or initiated their deaths. We birthed. We helped
others be born. We knew death and illness intimately; not as something hidden
behind curtains and distance and specialists and void of emotion.
And
sure, in some ways, the whole Kubler-Ross initiated revolution shifted and
changed so much. 20 years ago there were few hospices, and people i know hired
others to come be with those dying.
I
went to work on and ease the passage of many a child and adult and creature, in
all those homes and nursing homes and hospitals, looking the process of dying
in the face, walking down the path with so many and their loved ones.
It
is a hard thing, these experiences. They take a toll that we are not fully
aware of at the moment. For, how can we be? We don't have villages and
neighbors who are being born and dying next door, nor doing the butchering
ourselves for our winter's repast. We fear illness and death, try hard to look
the other way, and in this way spend so much of our time catching glimpses over
our shoulders, wondering when Death will come.
Which is not the deal. It isn't. The deal is
to just live this moment. The funny thing is that when we live this moment and
learn to calm and quiet the blah blah blah of the exhausting process of freely
engaging fears and anticipation and mulling over the past withe uncertainty as
to whether it merits feeling badly or not, we lose sight of both what all this
does to our health. And we lose sight of what really matters.
I have a feeling that when we live in
villages, with the evidence of birth and death all around us, the immediacy of
what is grace becomes clearer. And no, it's
not good to romanticize anything, so we know that villages also mean being in
proximity to all sorts of unfortunate situations.
But
nonetheless, here we are. In towns and cities where we can spend an entire
lifetime never witnessing a birth or a death. Unless of course we slow down and
calm our fears and learn to let ourselves go, in this moment we have now.
What
is amazing me right now is the way in which, when we spend a great deal of time
prioritizing practicing mindfulness, it does something unrelated to our
motivation to live mindfully.
When
the shit hits the fan in a big big big way, why we are all on board. We are in
each and every moment. We calm and quiet speculation and regret and fears,
tendering them for a moment, and then letting them do what they do best- be on
their way.
And
then we relish what is, right right now. Gazing at the inimitable uniqueness of
todays sunrise. Holding the hand of a dear one and simply looking into their
face. That being perfectly enough.
