It’s amazing to me how often we as a species conspire with ourselves and others to make believe. That if we eat this or drink that or take this or smoke that or say this or do that, well then, ooohhh, this other improvement will come on down the line. It will deliver us to feel better.
What great powers a meal or ice cream or a bunch of beer is expected to have. A little juicy circle of pathology.
Thing is, we then fall into this trance.
Of doing it over and over and having friends say ‘Oh that was so hard, you really need a drink .’ Or big piece of pie or a break or to drive fast or buy something.
And then we do and the best part actually is the anticipation .
Ok ok, and maybe the dissociation.
Kinda like a ‘leave yourself, avoid feeling all that stuff and processing it down effectively ‘ deal.
As if things will go well if e lead so much of our life stepping out of it. Abandoning our selves.
We keep believing that eating this
or doing that
will make us feel better
and it never ever does.
or doing that
will make us feel better
and it never ever does.
No, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t taste good or we don’t welcome the escape.
It means it does not work.
But we stay with it, sticking with the make believe story we tell ourselves and each other.
And then, we find ourselves aggrieved
by how lost and lonely and stuck we feel .
by how lost and lonely and stuck we feel .
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