9.19.14 She Is A Friend Of Mine

'She is a friend of mine.

 She gathers me. 

The pieces I am, 

she gathers them

 and give some back to me 

in all the right order." 

Toni Morrison, Beloved.

9.18.14 We Searched and Searched Today

We searched and searched today for a hidden away conservation woods a friend with the dog horde had brought us to... And finally located the small dirt road, warning '10 miles an hour. And don't raise the dust!'. So we did and didn't, meandering and jouncing til we drove right into the woods. 

Once out, there was the dark canopy and the slowly moving stream and the small wooden bridge and the raised land for the footpath, bordered by Horsetail all along; 

new different land and warnings and alerts from the birds and wild creatures, as we walked in and out of shafts of sunlight that shifted through the forest as the wind blew and the tall trees waved.
Til some animal began making a cricccckkking sound, which was quite enough for me, quite loud too- possibly some tiny avian with a large lung capacity -who knows, 

but we turned tail and backtracked, once again relishing the absolute beauty of path and woods and stream,
at one point Dante seriously attempting to climb a leaning tree to follow up on a squirrel that, by then, was long gone - leapt to another and another ; not that he'd understand that. 

He garnering an enormous long stick , racing by, thwacking me by accident, and I did yell out ! And then, apologize, surely, at his concerned sweet young face , 

taking advantage of his pause to nab his collar and stick the leash on, them cross the bridge
while he jumped 6' down, then raced up the bank, so that the car, 

due to be traded in any second ( before any number of about to be dire things happen) would of course, now, be covered with mud and dirt, mounds of it, dried and covring the back seat.
But no matter. In we got and out we backed and slowly we went our way, raising no dust, mind you,
while a number of story lines and new characters and situations ,of my novel , simmered in my mind, 

waiting patiently for us to get on home.

9.18.14 I know we've seen this around. But it simply is so clear, and the embodiment of what we can become, from aging.

I know we've seen this around. But it simply is so clear, and the embodiment of what we can become, from aging.
“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me.
I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature.
I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me.
I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate.
I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise.
I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance.
I do not adjust either to popular gossiping.
I hate conflict and comparisons.
I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities.
In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal.
I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement.
Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals.
And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.” _ Meryl Streep

9.13.14 Loneliness Preys Upon Itself

It's hard to problem-solve on our own, or have the courage to ask a friend, or find a therapist who fits for us, or a rabbi or a priest or minister, to help us consider the situation. It's really hard to face it. 
For example, when we truly are too lonely. Loneliness harms. Loneliness starves. Loneliness shortens the lives of people and animals. Loneliness is a very difficult thing.

Loneliness preys upon itself. Loneliness tends to make us doubt our own self-worth. Fosters our lack of confidence that possibly somebody wants to be in our company. 

Loneliness can lead to depression and despair and terrible isolation. Often, when somebody well meaning asks us if everything is okay, we have that strange compulsion, right? To put a smile on our face, and, and in complete denial, say "Oh , of course ." And then slink away, knowing that it is not true at all. Having absolutely no idea how to ask for help I confide in anyone.

There are a lot of people who are really helpful for problem-solving with. 

Often times we need somebody outside of our own selves to help us look at the situation anew. 

With fresh eyes.

9.17.14 Shrouded In Everyday Beauty

Today somehow was a quiet day. A pensive day. Still, some things to do, and as I went around the neighborhood, on my path, invariably I ran into favorite places. Shrouded in remarkable and every day beauty.

   

  

As we waited for my best friend, by my old office, and got to wander the high riverside, and discover this not-so-large spider , who has created a 3' long and 3' high spiderweb of extraordinary beauty, in the doorway of an old unused shed- to cast her net- each sparkle a small insect she caught , so rather successful. Amazing glistening web. As the Connecticut swirled and rushed by far below.









The Conservation pathway quiet and empty of visitors, the galleon clouds above the glistening river, and the inviting path always waiting.

As the sky promised a sunset light show not to be missed, down by the Eagle Sanctuary

On the way back home , so many still happily in their RV's, threaded along the riverside, as the darkness approached- and led me to wonder what it's like to summer in a big camper thing, sitting outside as the river flows on by.

As we finally returned home , me putting groceries away in the kitchen- til I happened to peer out the kitchen window- and caught sight of how the setting sun was reflecting off the billowy cloud just as it was passing by- half expecting some Hallelujah chorus, for goodness sake- though really, it's just earth, and life; days and then nights, ants, bears, trees and us- having our precious lives.

9.16.14 Get Up. Get Out Of Bed.

Get up. Get out of bed. Go to the bathroom. Gat your probiotic out of the frig and take it. Let any dogs out. Give them theirs. Go lie down or sit down. Unwind yesterday from your body and your mind. Loosen your concerns ; your tightening in your organs from pain or worry. Let them fly free. Settle yourself, all clear, for the new day we are offered. 


This link: who else? The remarkable Jon Kabot Zinn






https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdG2C8wr1pc&app=desktop

9.17.14 A Bouquet For Deep and Lasting Friendship