7.17.15 being on a first-name basis with The Connecticut is so comforting

I find myself studying equanimity. 
Not as an intellectual construct, but as a flesh and bones way of living and breathing . 

Bringing myself to some sort of daily letting go. 

Which is why being on a first-name basis with The Connecticut is so comforting. 

Each day, I return to the largesse of the river.
I breathe it's age, I feel it's path. I grow older as it streams by my side.

A way of reframing our own lives, in a larger heart-filling magnificence.

7.17.15 It took such a long long time

After all the dust storms and the
incipient murmurs of your
hot breath against my neck

The time you stayed gone for days
The morning I discovered you
spraying her with the hose
naked
up by the garden

I think I grew up then
some
I think at 21 I grew enough to
distinguish between
protection, lust, and
sheer common sense

I think it took a long time
to let go of your limpid blue eyes
your way of entwining about me
and every woman you came upon

Like a bittersweet, spiked and
fast moving toward
any old
prey

7.17.15 " I tell them...."

       “I tell them: don’t depend on a woodsman in the third act.

I tell them: look for sets of three, or seven. 
I tell them: there’s always a way to survive.
I tell them: you can’t force fidelity. 
I tell them: don’t make bargains that involve major surgery.
I tell them: you don’t have to lie still and wait for someone to tell you how to live
I tell them: it’s all right to push her into the oven. She was going to hurt you.
I tell them: she couldn’t help it. She just loved her own children more.
I tell them: everyone starts out young and brave. It’s what you do with that that matters.
I tell them: you can share that bear with your sister.
I tell them: no one can stay silent forever.
I tell them: it’s not your fault.
I tell them: mirrors lie.
I tell them: you can wear those boots if you want them. You can lift that sword. It was always your sword.
I tell them: the apple has two sides.
I tell them: just because he woke you up doesn't mean you owe him anything.
I tell them: his name is Rumplestiltskin. “
                    

                      Catherynne Valente ‘The Bread We Eat In Dreams’

7.16.15 A small wild voice

7.16.15 Rules and more rules

     There are so fewer rules than anyone realizes. We just all go around thinking we must do things a certain way. Once I gave my husband a surprise birthday party in March. HIs birthday was in January. All I can say is, wow was he surprised. 
     Once my kids were sick all winter long, one or the other. Really motivated me to learn how to create my "Don't Get Sick' Protocol. By May, they were all getting better, not taking turns falling ill again and again. So we hurried up and gave my youngest his birthday party with friends, then with family, since he'd been sick In November. Then we turned around and celebrated my daughter's May 9th birthday.
     Of course, then the three of them began petitioning me to change their birth dates. I said, "Why not? But you have to miss the real birth date, party wise, til you get to your 'new' date." Noone lasted, of course.
     I had a client in my practice whose friend moved to this are from Rhode Island. She called my client up on the phone, after settling, and told her
     "You have to move here! You don't have to put on lipstick or change your clothes or anything, to go to the store." So? She moved here. And yeah, no lipstick, ever again. And the heck with all that changing, she told me.

 

7.16.15 Because, after all, there is just one huge endless sky

 

Imagine how many bajillions of years there have been planets and sunrises and sunsets

 all over the universes

 and varying colors, from various components in the skies. 

The sky. 

Because, after all, really there is just one huge endless sky.