Many years ago I was someplace, in a bathroom, where the only piece of literature was a Lands End catalog, with a piece by Garrison Keillor in the middle of it.
And in that piece, he talked about how burdened and limited we are by our over expectations of family members.
That heaping our hopes and fears of interactions with those in our family is like keeping all sorts of burdens on a donkey, making it unable to navigate.
He said that maybe it was really just OK to get along well enough to be in the same room for a little bit once a year. That really changed my life.
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