Sunday, March 10, 2019

3.15.18 Some Kind of Wonderful




Sometimes we discover that, somehow, self-doubt became our default setting, our unthinking go-to, our catch-all self identification, as we wandered in our life. 

By hook or by crook, via uncertain circumstance in youth, or by the deliberate wrong intentions of another we had trusted, there are many accessible ways to arrive there. Doubting our self.
Worse still is the way in which we then go about trumpeting this news, incurring the doubting wrath of those closest to us, a compound fracture. 

Until at some point, often enough after managing valuable self care practices, we begin to wake up and notice the reality we have inadvertently signed on to, perpetuated to ourselves and others.
We begin to wake up to ways in which, in word and in deed, we have been undermining ourselves to our self, to others, unthinkingly and habitually sabotaging as a daily practice. 

Which, of course, fosters anxiety and uncertainty and fear. 

The remedy, of course, is more self care. Which we often resist, as it is the path away from self depreciation and toward self love and self respect and self-trust.

That gorgeous faith grace filled self-reliance we can compassionately learn to live each of our days. All of our lives.

Of course, this requires a choice, made freely and often, to learn to notice when we are engaging in our old hobby of self-depreciation. In what we say in the world, in how we mistakenly act. And in our determined new awareness, find the courage to about face and instead proceed with awareness and self respect. 

And in that glorious inimitable way life offers, we have the chance to blamelessly shamelessly climb out and up. 

Back into that which is true, which, being true, holds promise of so much.

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