11.25.15 At night , with the succor of gentleness

One of the nice things about being 63, as opposed to 23 or 43, is that it's actually possible, at times, when so much stuff becomes piled up in life accumulations, to take ourselves in hand , firmly interrupt the beginnings of frenzy about it all, and bring ourselves to ground.

I watched myself do just that tonight, in a way I never was able to do 10 or 5 years ago. 

     Take myself in hand, empathize with what seemed like mounting unmanageable circumstance and emotion, and set myself to rights.

Remind myself that I am not going to process or think over one thing after nightfall- not one. But I will make a note to make darn sure to carve out the time tomorrow. To honor those rising needs and concerns. 

     That each thing I'm spinning out about can just go up on that shelf right now , because now is the time to be kind and unwind. (remember that one from the days of video rentals ?!) That now is the time of day for self care and soft thoughts; as thoughtful as we are readying a small child for a deep restorative sleep, after a hands down tough day. 

     Finally it's possible, when we've been through the mill a few times, to say to ourselves "That worry? Not an emergency. It's alright. Everything is ok. Nothing is perfect. Let's just cool out , and reframe the focus on the big picture . "Darkness. Cozy lights. Putting the house to bed. Gently massaging lotion on feet and arms . Done with warm aromatic tea and something nice we thought on for a bit .

     Because peace of mind is right there, available to us.

     We just need an eagle's eye view , backing up as we rise- back back, as if standing by the old massive Connecticut, or the fathomless ocean, and in a blink of an eye , it's not that our problems aren't important . It's that we can reframe the perspective, so we once again give ourselves the Big Picture. 

     We can turn down the bed, close the shades, brush our teeth as our insides begin to settle in preparation.

     We can not have solutions for all the more than urgent concerns. , but be off the clock, to rejuvenate ourselves. 

     To rest in that peaceful time we give ourselves. Knowing that tomorrow, when we are ready, we can say " Ok. Ok. Let's take them down. , one at a time, zoom back in , and see what's possible ."

     And honor that promise, of carving out time. To let all the hard emotions come up , be heard and felt. With mindfulness, DBT, or your favorite most helpful ways.

     But not at night. At night , with the succor of gentleness , we rest, and sometimes, sleep.