1.1.16 Along the common ground

     Sometimes it seems to take so much effort, to manage one small thing. To go ahead, and pursue that which means something. To finagle all the mandatory acts that keep life smooth and sane, and then save a little for the activities that mean much to us. To hope, or dream of doing something with a way of creating that means much. As a way of connecting with others, across vast expanses of differing opinion, conviction and reactivity.

     Often in the past, I had jobs that formed a container, where the job was pertinent, and my own views were not so much. I could approach a high school kid in school, and talk to them about life and stress and what messes us up using drugs to soften what seems too hard. I got to hang out and talk with people from such different backgrounds, and have something in common that we could all discuss, equally respected and enjoyed. I got to go to older people's homes to see what help my agency could provide, and in those days, really could provide it. I had the profound pleasure of a private practice, honing my skills until I finally became accustomed to the work being effective most of the time. That remarkable pleasure of helping guide people out of so many problematic health conditions.

     And now? Private person. Sure, I can reply to someone at the library who is commenting on a book they're thinking of reading, asking me my take. I can excuse myself getting sand at the town lot, and talk about the weather and the river with the person next to me, without us ever encountering our politics or their pesticide use on their fields or their support for less taxes.

     But the difference between us? Creeps up fast. And before you know it, there it is , leaping into the space between you and a perfectly nice person, who has avid views so contrary to yours that you have to take a moment, a breath, and remember what is most important to you.

     That yes, there are all these pivotal issues, there is all this misunderstanding about the country and the economy and so many that seem impacted , it seems, swooned into thinking this or that.

But what is really important is our common ground. Its' actually just like a marriage, or a relationship with your kids, or family. You need to generate enough nice stuff to be able to manage the hard things. Enough feel good ways of caring that it supercedes the hard hard differences.

     All of which is way easier here, in the little happy valley, than many other places, for certain.

     Everywhere jobs and incomes are threatened, and people are feeling increasingly angry and precarious, looking for someone to blame.

     So I try to focus on that. Our common ground. With the farmer down the road, and the convenience store clerk. With what we share, in our days and our nights, that brings us closer together.