2.2.16 We weren't going to do it

common in those days. What did it mean, anyway? I studied the history, the enculturation, thinking I could come to some understanding that way. His parents? Happy. Mine? Disaster.

     But when our firstborn was four,we realized we wanted to celebrate, as everyone should , for whatever means much to them.
     And so we planned, a big party, and a little ceremony, til my great aunt asked what the big problem was with making it legal.
     So I mailed away for two friends to be ministers, and we saved our pennies, and set a date. A friend cleaned out his Shelburne barn, and cleaned out his pool, and he and we made a wedding cake from a Gourmet recipe, leaving the thing in the car for a few days before we got around to bringing it to a friend's freezer.
     And we bought patterns and fixed up the hobbled old sewing machine and sewed linen jackets and pants to get married in, and a silk shirt for me, and a cummerbund, at the last minute,( pinned together, sticking into me).

     We rented tables and chairs and dishes and glasses and made up an enormous kick-em-dead punch, a tent for the childcare people to watch all the kids, and picked flowers and our friend put up volley ball and other games and finally the night before came.
We sat here, with our wild little four year old at home, having a wonderful time, til the next morning, when the two minister-to-be friends were late and maybe 50 family crowded around at our home in Montague and the photographer friend was at the ready, the gifted limo standing by to bring us and the kid up to the party.

My older brother played 'Drowning Man' by U2, and the minister friends finally got there and we said a few things about love and all, and then the whole lot of us zoomed up to Shelburne to meet up with the zillion friends, all swimming and running around and playing and hanging out by the pool.
     With the huge pot luck dinner and then the nicely frosted delicious wedding cake, and the music and dancing and laughter and fun.
     No, there was no money to go anywhere, and that really never changed, but it was the best party, so that our four year old, for years, asked for a replay, and amazing parties you can't really predict, because celebrations and parties have a life of their own.
     And I left wishing that not only people who marry or graduate go have celebrations, big big raucous parties, but that everyone gets to if they feel like it, because really if you hang in the right circles, there are so few rules; and what is life, really , if not to be celebrated with those you love?