Today was a bright day and a good day and a hard day if you
were in the mood for make believe and just for a moment pretending a day is any
kind of thing at all versus us just having experiences. Which we do and I was.
I was tired and more tired than that and about
to dive in for a month of prolonged rest after being his training wheels and
getting him carefully started on a Very Important Healing Diet.
And I know, I
know, my friends have been checking my organs and sharing concern so I
stopped pushing and began to crash.
Which is what we actually are pretending
about and avoiding , each of us, when we keep pushing on. We are running fast
away from just accepting what IS when really we have gone too far. Because the
next stop, after too far, is sooner or later some kind of onset our lives could
really do without .
But if we are not spring chickens, we should know better , and I should , and
I'm trying, I really am, the way we do when we know the gigs up and a bad mess
will follow if we don't fess up and settle down.
Because so many of us on this earth have very little choice if we want food on
the table or young ones grown up ok.
But I'm lucky because the young ones have flown the coop and there is some room
now for me to let loose that crasho break.
But just before he got brought back from Boston all pale and smiling, I
vacuumed up the living room and did the dishes and washed the sheets all fresh
and soft and smooth , and then lay on the sofa and felt out the day with the
cool breeze streaming through every cell in my body.
And read some almost good enough library book and thought of the beautiful
quiet dog walk earlier today down by those broad isolated fiends . And made the
quick visit to the river by myself tonight, to meet up and greet up and face
what I needed to face.
As I stood there and watched the sun lay down the law and the magnificence of
what we each have here filled me til my spirit swept about and smiled.
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