10.30.16 We often

Good morning, good afternoon , 
good anytime. 
The expansive beauty of a fall morning.

     We often feel as though life 'happens' to us, or that we are 'in control', and therefore responsible for consequences, even worthy of blame. We tend to unthinkingly be drawn to settling ourselves into the relative comfort of conclusions , verdicts, whether they are accurate and true or not. We seem to derive reassurance from taking the uncertainty or the seeming random we experience and willingly deciding it is anything but.
     This make-believe-for-the-sake-of-feeling-better does not work. These stories we tell ourselves are not real, and we know that, so our anxiety and uncertainty ramp up, which moves us to live into assumptions, characterizing ourselves and others, stereotyping entire unknown groups of others, as if we can know such a thing. 
     We begin to pretend we know people we see on the street, via their appearance or actions, that we can draw conclusions about a class of individuals, based on our reactions or fears related to one. 
     Pretty soon we are living our precious lives through so many reactive filters, that portray our experiences through our very own distorted looking glass, and our distress increases, because we have swept ourselves far from home.
     Far from what we, deep inside , can rely on to be true and clear and untwisted up and real for us.
     Which is that there is much we don't know.
     That we can slowly learn to back ourselves up, settle ourselves down, and begin once again.
     We can sit or walk in silence and rest in he present moment.
     We can be the one who watches the Thought or Feeling come up. And instead of thinking that thought or feeling IS our life and IS us, we can say to ourselves 'Oh look, THAT is a thought', and then sit back and feel and think it, til it quietly passes by. 
     We can say to ourselves 'Oh look, this here is a FEELING', and,identified as such, instead of being the one pretending to have life 'happen' to us, or pretending we are 'in control',instead we simply watch the identified feeling , and , felt with awareness, it will slowly pass on by.
     In the beginning, we feel as though we are are being assaulted by SO many Thoughts. So many Feelings. We wonder what is real.
     And then we realize that wondering what is 'real' is a 'thought '. And the Feeling we are having is a 'Feeling'. So we sit or walk with both , and they slowly pass on by, til here we are, breathing and sitting or walking, right here in the present. 
     We can always manage this present moment. No matter what is happening, we can find rest in our inhalation and then our exhalation. 
     In this way, we slowly learn to breathe and stay , resting in breathing, noticing when we have a      Thought or a Feeling come up and then pass on by, and then settle back into our breath again.
In this way there is no need to decide who is good or bad to us, wrong or right. We don't have to live in a story of grave difference or disillusionment or fear.
     Instead we can feel how we feel about situations , and then let it pass by. We can think what we think and then let it pass by. 
     We begin to learn to reside in the clarity of being with what happens. 
     We make our choices of action and response, have our learning curves and learn how it seems best right now to navigate. 
     Without characterizing ourselves or others as one 'way' or another. 
     Without feeling or thinking a need to pin a label on situations or people. 
     We become drawn to that which is a good fit and we pull away from that which is not, all the while watching our thoughts and feelings.
     Pretty soon we begin to notice we have been spending most of our days rueing or yearning for a past that wasn't, or wishing hoping for some make believe future. 
     When all along, the present day is here, in front of us and within us and all about us. Holding and unfolding in its own inimitable way , as we walk along within it, being with what is.