It's
not always easy to fully appreciate the grace bestowed upon us, by experience
and age. And if we choose to learn to quietly sit with situations of conflict
with others, to be at peace with it and let the emotions come up and pass on
by, it amazes me how undefensively we can begin to discern how we got to that
place.
How our misunderstanding and assumptions enabled that mess, how we can let it untangle itself seamlessly, and learn what we may.
We can manage this, without falling into the temptation to characterize the other as this bad thing or that blame, and with clarity, we can observe them blame us and rage or grudge, knowing that is simply their option.
We can slowly discover this remarkable clarity. And, amazingly enough, the choices we made, that enabled that path both to happen, and slowly now to become clear.
And then we don't give a crap about anyone to blame. We can slowly let go of their lobbing blame at us, stepping aside and letting them hurl themselves to the road, Aikido of the spirit.
We can come clear, and begin to see each tiny unawareness of ours, each little choice of avoiding or looking away, that contributed to us getting to that place where the altercation occurred.
We can feel good about not accepting invitations to leap into an angry venting fray, no matter how infuriating our refusal can be to an angry other.
And instead, we can be old enough and practiced enough to love ourselves. Love the moment. Love the human across from us, drawn to blaming. Love the tangle and the resulting small melted peace.
All these things are options for each of us.
We can choose to not come away determined to never have that again, but instead, find ourselves illuminated by our choices that got us there.
And a kind, grinning understanding, of how we would like to grow, so we can perhaps proceed with more awareness again.
I would never have anticipated, at 40,being able at almost 65 to watch grudges dissolve, and wander about peacefully unafraid of bumping into angry others, uncertain and wound up.
How our misunderstanding and assumptions enabled that mess, how we can let it untangle itself seamlessly, and learn what we may.
We can manage this, without falling into the temptation to characterize the other as this bad thing or that blame, and with clarity, we can observe them blame us and rage or grudge, knowing that is simply their option.
We can slowly discover this remarkable clarity. And, amazingly enough, the choices we made, that enabled that path both to happen, and slowly now to become clear.
And then we don't give a crap about anyone to blame. We can slowly let go of their lobbing blame at us, stepping aside and letting them hurl themselves to the road, Aikido of the spirit.
We can come clear, and begin to see each tiny unawareness of ours, each little choice of avoiding or looking away, that contributed to us getting to that place where the altercation occurred.
We can feel good about not accepting invitations to leap into an angry venting fray, no matter how infuriating our refusal can be to an angry other.
And instead, we can be old enough and practiced enough to love ourselves. Love the moment. Love the human across from us, drawn to blaming. Love the tangle and the resulting small melted peace.
All these things are options for each of us.
We can choose to not come away determined to never have that again, but instead, find ourselves illuminated by our choices that got us there.
And a kind, grinning understanding, of how we would like to grow, so we can perhaps proceed with more awareness again.
I would never have anticipated, at 40,being able at almost 65 to watch grudges dissolve, and wander about peacefully unafraid of bumping into angry others, uncertain and wound up.
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