It seems as though, when we were young, regardless of the gross differences in culture then and culture, now (gross in so many ways) (Don't forget Socrates purportedly maligning and whining about the weak-willed, irresponsible youth) that there is a developmental issue here, also. For many of us, getting dressed up in something we made, something thrown upon us (a sheet...where are the eye holes?.....the 5 and 10 cent story plastic wrapped thing we lusted for...esp if someone in the home was all up into creating something THEY wanted to see on us) and venturing out into the night, wind blowing, darkness, other kids wandering about also, going door to door to be given (gasp) CANDY! was quite something. Mysterious. Unusual. Exciting. Right? One night a year, the whole deal.
I recall that curious phenomena, as an independent 20,21 year old, where the goal as a female was to dress in black, and skintight. The chance to be your big bad alter-self. Evil luring woman.
I remember my oldest, within the confines of my very very best feminist offerings-but-not-projections-i-hope, moving from parent initiated costumes to parent-assisted costumes to...yup...THE BLOODY MAN.
The Bloody Man could be a vampire, a dark scary figure, a monster: so many things. But it was a definite draw, and fascinating to watch as he was drawn to it, and then culturally stayed with it for a long time, as it was acceptable to peers. Manly. Scary.
And too, when we are kids, by and large, we look at things from such a young perspective. Not saying kids these days aren't stupidly allowed to see all the tv and news, and discover that, ACTUALLY? People are really doing those horrible horrible things to each other. And that it actually isn't just a fantasy.
I think that's what lets them do the costumes with childish glee. The innocence. I remember my daughter and younger son dressing up as Pippi Longstocking, as 2 and 3 year olds. Both of them LOVING the stick-out braids. The wandering about. Their 12 year old brother tolerating the boy-in-skirt thing his baby brother was doing; helping get them all set, til he got ready to be a bloody man.
Maybe, when we are parents or aunts or uncles and involved in young lives, we slowly get tired and burnt from all the lovely important sweet exhaustion of it all. And wonder what on earth it's like to do the Halloween deal now, in this day and age. With internet and technology and everyone a phone and all.
I think of the horrible (I know. I went through it all. Maybe you did too) video games they wanted and you tried to check out and they were still given..... (where you ....trigger warning...get to choose to violate a woman. Yup. As part of a video game. That one went flying in the trash. But was casually at ALL THE FRIEND'S HOUSES.)
I remember going out and sitting alone previewing Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, to make sure I thought my kid could see the things the next weekend, with friends.
As adults, we KNOW all this stuff happens. HAS been happening. In wars. In crime. On and on and on.
And if you watch tv at all, and are not into silly laugh-track sitcoms, then it's the detective/cop series that have some quality.
And of course, they're all about somebody really harming/killing/etc. someone else. Which reinforces some idea of normality to 'horrible things being done out there', which IS true, but all these 'normal' tv shows? Sigh.
It seems to me that when we get to 50's or 60's we have lived some life. We have possibly been the excited little kid, in the not perfect, but ok childhood. Or the not ok childhood...but often, we got to go 'trick or treat'. We were little. We knew not what was 'real' and not 'real'. It was exciting. Maybe scary. But just remember, the candy. Many of us are now doing a different developmental deal.
We are orienting ourselves to what we most probably will not do. What most probably will not happen.
As Simone de Beauvoir did in her 60's, seeing if we can resolve ourselves to what is. To saying goodbye to all the 'maybe's we had all those years, and settling down to what select one or few things we may want to focus upon now, in the event that, between health, finances, energy, and drive, we may want to invest ourselves in chiseling away at a project. Or, instead, manage/relish/endure/cherish each day as well as we can, realistically, with radical acceptance, and settle in.
I also had that pre-Halloween experience, of seeing all the all the profane and violent stuff, recently. Ewww.
Years ago, with teenagers, I would have sloughed it off. Oh right, geeze, all that stupid stuff. Now, I somehow am surprised. Even shocked. As in .....Why would this interest anyone at all?? Especially adults.
But who knows. Big wide world out there. Big funny country we got here.
Many of us on the same page, remembering the historical origins....the cultural origins...the little kids and big kids we have known....our own being a little kid.
And now? I'm dusted. Cooked.
I pre-empted by buying little things for the little kids next door, just in case. Dropped little bags off in the afternoon.
And then? Even way out here in the woods? I went and turned off the outside light.
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