Some days just suck. And
maybe all around, the day and most of the people, and maybe even the bears
curling up for their deep winter's rest, or the coyotes living on instinctual
wisdom as they chow down, building fat reserves and thickening their coats, are
managing the easy and the tough pretty much ok.
But some days, we're simply not. It just builds up and backs up and there's that final freaking straw that gets pulled, or snapped or thwarted, and suddenly we crash. And maybe even burn.
It seems like, if we're supported enough, by the warm morning sunlight or a new library book or a kind smile at the store or our culture or peers or economy or those around us, or a beautiful sunset or sweet hot tea or a warm bed, that as we age, we learn that cool thing. To just step aside.
To step aside and take the time out any way we can, and not decide big things or wreck little things or say stuff. And just give ourselves room . To play it out. To wait.
And though it feels certainly hopeless or miserable or unyielding or like nothing good can come, still we can take a step back.
Sometimes it just gives us time to deal. To not compound what is already tough stuff, no matter who or where we are.
But we can firmly refuse to add insult to injury, by criticizing or shaming ourselves, and feeling badly about who we are. That is useless and an indulgence that never benefits and maybe it was done to us, but we can refuse to do it any more.
And sometimes, if we keep our heads up and our eyes open, small bits of grace seep in.
There might not be any big on high announcement, or flashing with heavenly hosts. All the all the problems and pressures may not dissolve into absolute perfection. Because life is simply not like that.
It isn't any Disney movie, and we might as well get used to that right now. Yearning pining for that doesn't help anything.
What we might find is that small moments of grace DO arrive. And sweep past and light up the day or the middle of the night. And our load is lightened. We don't have to decide why or how or what.
We just might smile, even though things suck in innumerable can-I-even-do-this ness.
We just might let go and sink into this very space of this very time, nourish our selves best we can, let go, and tomorrow, start again .
But some days, we're simply not. It just builds up and backs up and there's that final freaking straw that gets pulled, or snapped or thwarted, and suddenly we crash. And maybe even burn.
It seems like, if we're supported enough, by the warm morning sunlight or a new library book or a kind smile at the store or our culture or peers or economy or those around us, or a beautiful sunset or sweet hot tea or a warm bed, that as we age, we learn that cool thing. To just step aside.
To step aside and take the time out any way we can, and not decide big things or wreck little things or say stuff. And just give ourselves room . To play it out. To wait.
And though it feels certainly hopeless or miserable or unyielding or like nothing good can come, still we can take a step back.
Sometimes it just gives us time to deal. To not compound what is already tough stuff, no matter who or where we are.
But we can firmly refuse to add insult to injury, by criticizing or shaming ourselves, and feeling badly about who we are. That is useless and an indulgence that never benefits and maybe it was done to us, but we can refuse to do it any more.
And sometimes, if we keep our heads up and our eyes open, small bits of grace seep in.
There might not be any big on high announcement, or flashing with heavenly hosts. All the all the problems and pressures may not dissolve into absolute perfection. Because life is simply not like that.
It isn't any Disney movie, and we might as well get used to that right now. Yearning pining for that doesn't help anything.
What we might find is that small moments of grace DO arrive. And sweep past and light up the day or the middle of the night. And our load is lightened. We don't have to decide why or how or what.
We just might smile, even though things suck in innumerable can-I-even-do-this ness.
We just might let go and sink into this very space of this very time, nourish our selves best we can, let go, and tomorrow, start again .
https://www.facebook.com/gwen.mcclellan/videos/10208190329419449/
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