It
continually surprises me how in my mind most days, I have this way of thinking
that is either hopeful , or delusional , where I anticipate what I 'will' do
'when' I have a bit of energy . Feel a bit better.
To the credit of my sanity, it no longer involves bigger unlikely things, like working , errands or work in the house, closets or going anywhere , that I know are unlikely; nor looking up recipes and cooking them, or making things for someone . Doing things for others , which was such a pleasure.
Each and every day as I rest, my mind prepares for the possibility of a good day, when a bit more may be possible . Dusting that part of the living room, wiping that place in the hall; doing something with the clutter on one shelf .
Most days , I'm luckier than most, and I know this. For the most part , I have chronic infections down pat w naturopathic means . Inflammation rigorously reduced w herbs and homeopathics , so pain and dysfunction minimal. Being able to put the living room right, walk the dog , doing tiny reasonable bits at Planet Fitness, getting the dishes done , and then a few other things in between resting , napping between resting , and using the day 's allowance of energy early to wander a bit , take photos , and write , things I am forever delighted to have in my day.
That gradual and profound resolution to the fact that most people will not understanding this quiet necessity of my life, and those with lives that are both sometimes better and sometimes far worse .
Still , it surprises me , my self absolutely anticipating that one of these days a modest more may be possible . I guess that most of us retain this, as a tether , a bastion of hope , and a looking forward .
To the credit of my sanity, it no longer involves bigger unlikely things, like working , errands or work in the house, closets or going anywhere , that I know are unlikely; nor looking up recipes and cooking them, or making things for someone . Doing things for others , which was such a pleasure.
Each and every day as I rest, my mind prepares for the possibility of a good day, when a bit more may be possible . Dusting that part of the living room, wiping that place in the hall; doing something with the clutter on one shelf .
Most days , I'm luckier than most, and I know this. For the most part , I have chronic infections down pat w naturopathic means . Inflammation rigorously reduced w herbs and homeopathics , so pain and dysfunction minimal. Being able to put the living room right, walk the dog , doing tiny reasonable bits at Planet Fitness, getting the dishes done , and then a few other things in between resting , napping between resting , and using the day 's allowance of energy early to wander a bit , take photos , and write , things I am forever delighted to have in my day.
That gradual and profound resolution to the fact that most people will not understanding this quiet necessity of my life, and those with lives that are both sometimes better and sometimes far worse .
Still , it surprises me , my self absolutely anticipating that one of these days a modest more may be possible . I guess that most of us retain this, as a tether , a bastion of hope , and a looking forward .
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