As we grow older, if we want, we begin to
figure out a few things.
Like how the time of an argument is not the time
that will reap substantive changes.
But may provide a window into how we or someone else is feeling.
How there are times when additional conflicts are predictable .
And we might as well learn to anticipate them , and agree verbally that this could be harder and what can we do about it.
That if we do 'five minutes' or 'one minute' with each other- lovers, partners, friends, roommates , co-workers, and just take turns listening, and don't comment when it's their turn or after , it provides us with a no fault way of staying aware and in touch. Without feeling we are supposed to do or say anything.
That if we have a spat, leave the past in the past . Yeah a nice juicy snippet from the past adds huge seemingly satisfying ballast , but trajects the interaction out of any possibility of either no harm venting or opportunity to figure some small thing out. And change how we are in the future.
That raising your voice will raise the probability that nothing good will come of it. If you need to raise your voice, go yell at a public pool when all the kids are there yelling, or go drive your car and yell a lot .
Lots of times as we grow older , if we want , we can grow wiser .
The more unbelievably hard things that are happening , the more possible it is to really damage our relationships and life.
OR learn to let go and return to the big picture .
And later on, see if you can agree with the other person on when and how to try to untangle something problematic .
But may provide a window into how we or someone else is feeling.
How there are times when additional conflicts are predictable .
And we might as well learn to anticipate them , and agree verbally that this could be harder and what can we do about it.
That if we do 'five minutes' or 'one minute' with each other- lovers, partners, friends, roommates , co-workers, and just take turns listening, and don't comment when it's their turn or after , it provides us with a no fault way of staying aware and in touch. Without feeling we are supposed to do or say anything.
That if we have a spat, leave the past in the past . Yeah a nice juicy snippet from the past adds huge seemingly satisfying ballast , but trajects the interaction out of any possibility of either no harm venting or opportunity to figure some small thing out. And change how we are in the future.
That raising your voice will raise the probability that nothing good will come of it. If you need to raise your voice, go yell at a public pool when all the kids are there yelling, or go drive your car and yell a lot .
Lots of times as we grow older , if we want , we can grow wiser .
The more unbelievably hard things that are happening , the more possible it is to really damage our relationships and life.
OR learn to let go and return to the big picture .
And later on, see if you can agree with the other person on when and how to try to untangle something problematic .
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