It's taken me so many years to come to a
realistic understanding of life, and of those around me. Somehow, perhaps like
many who are older responsible siblings, or parents, I was so busy caring for
others , I never noticed that not everyone saw things as kindly. As
compassionately. That there was a whole lot more demeaning judgmental stuff
going on than I realized.
It took me a long time, like it's taken others I know....mostly people who aren't mean for fun sometimes , or don't demean others a little here and there for a laugh, for me to get that it's a whole lot more about posturing and competitive hierarchy and appearance , to lots of people.
Who will willingly dismiss you or marginalize you, casually, if you have a head injury or don't have material things or lots of money and status or aren't well. As easily as they will casually laugh at disenfranchised groups of people, and then get defensive, and assert that they aren't discriminatory , but, guffaw guffaw, just look at those ____.
It took me a long time to realize that I'd better disguise myself, by appearing with good enough clothes and a good enough haircut, if I wanted to just navigate reasonably a family function. To just glide cross the surface, and somehow love people I might not like or respect all that much. To go easy with their duplicitous stuff, and not tolerate the worst behaviors.
It took me a long time to leave the Disneyland of my own unaware making, where everyone had good intentions and just got mixed up or said weird things sometimes.
Where they had just as much compassion and tenderness and understanding for me as I had for them.
I think sometimes we do the very best we can, to be a good person, an honest person, a person open to making mistakes and studying our privilege and blindness, and learn from it.
I think ,so often, we slide into making believe that others around us are what we dream of, what we hope them to be, what we want to believe they are, instead of whatever they are actually choosing.
It took me a long time, like it's taken others I know....mostly people who aren't mean for fun sometimes , or don't demean others a little here and there for a laugh, for me to get that it's a whole lot more about posturing and competitive hierarchy and appearance , to lots of people.
Who will willingly dismiss you or marginalize you, casually, if you have a head injury or don't have material things or lots of money and status or aren't well. As easily as they will casually laugh at disenfranchised groups of people, and then get defensive, and assert that they aren't discriminatory , but, guffaw guffaw, just look at those ____.
It took me a long time to realize that I'd better disguise myself, by appearing with good enough clothes and a good enough haircut, if I wanted to just navigate reasonably a family function. To just glide cross the surface, and somehow love people I might not like or respect all that much. To go easy with their duplicitous stuff, and not tolerate the worst behaviors.
It took me a long time to leave the Disneyland of my own unaware making, where everyone had good intentions and just got mixed up or said weird things sometimes.
Where they had just as much compassion and tenderness and understanding for me as I had for them.
I think sometimes we do the very best we can, to be a good person, an honest person, a person open to making mistakes and studying our privilege and blindness, and learn from it.
I think ,so often, we slide into making believe that others around us are what we dream of, what we hope them to be, what we want to believe they are, instead of whatever they are actually choosing.
https://www.facebook.com/GwenMcClellanWordsandPictures/videos/1337912969578817/
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