8.22.15 Where there is nothing to think about, nothing to figureout, nothing to plan, nothing to fear, nothing to wring hands about

So often we forget how push push pushed we have become; that way in which we push ourselves to keep going and doing, out of necessity, or great concern, or worry , or habit. Pushing ourselves happens, and is understandable. The most exhausting and depleting aspect, however, is forgetting to let go, to yield, and sink back into ourselves in between the times we must keep going and doing. So, we get stuck, in that push. Tight, tense, ready, all Sympathetic Nervous System Dominance. Our blood supply leaves our extremities and our digestive system, so our peripheral circulation suffers, and our digestive integrity is reduced. Our mind tires and our cortisol levels rise and rise, setting off an domino effect in other ways. 

I was noticing I'd forgotten to let go after so many pushes recently, and stopped. I just stopped to see if I could find the way I was pressing onward when pressing onward was no help at all. I sat and closed my eyes and poured myself into the pushing...poured myself into the tight clasped hands holding on and the prefrontal cortex of my forehead tight with pushing and unremitting focus and my shoulders and arms tight tight and my torso pushing forward and tight... and I sat there in the still point of the tight hovering push.

In my practice while I was unwinding over pushed clients, I would describe for them Harriers, birds of prey who are designed to hover, and so hover they do, with ease. Thing is, after hovering, they go rest. So do Hummingbirds and everyone else who spends some time tight and vigilant. Because we need to be somehow sustainable, in order to focus and yet be alright.

So I sat and after embodying the tight push (which BMC people could give you ten or twenty coolest moves for far better) with eyes closed I say myself letting go of the pushing and holding on and focusing. i saw my prefrontal cortex let go and become soft and malleable and pull back and melt into softness. I saw my hands and arms and shoulders and torso let go of the hard tight pushing...for what I want to understand, what i want to support, what I'm waiting to find out, what I'm worried about, what matters most... and I watched myself with eyes closed fall backward slowly, into soft let-go ease.

And then I let go and sunk deeply into that  Para-Sympathetic ease, where there is nothing to think about, nothing to figure out, nothing to plan, nothing to worry over, nothing to fear, nothing to wring hands about, nothing of concern coming down the pike; nothing nothing but this moment of being laid far far back into quiet mind soft body ease.

And then I stayed there for awhile, letting it all sink in, becoming accustomed once again to being the Harrier settling into the bush by the ancient flowing river, all being well.